toddlgreene
3448 posts
Nov 13, 2011
4:52 PM
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To me, Blues music has for the most part represented music that tells of woes in everyday life-love lost, unemployment, no car, etc. These events and others supposedly inspire song after song. But, have you ever been so depressed and devastated, you can't even sing the blues?
I'm going through a separation right now, and that's bad enough right there, but yesterday, I had to put down my beloved 10 year old black lab.
All day I have tried to stay busy and keep my mind off of things-wash the car, play with my kids, go shopping...and then I thought, hey, I'll go get a harp and crank up the amp and play my blues away...but I couldn't.
But wait, I thought these times were what the blues are all about? Strangely enough, I'm at my best playing and singing-wise when I'm happy and things seem to be going well for me at the time. Which makes me wonder if I've crossed over the threshold I didn't previously realize existed-am I too blue to sing the blues?
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Todd L. Greene
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nacoran
4920 posts
Nov 13, 2011
6:14 PM
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I've felt that before too. It took time to pass, but eventually it does. I can't think of anything else to say to help though. I hope things get better.
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Nate
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Seven.Oh.Three.
181 posts
Nov 13, 2011
6:17 PM
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Todd- I think you've put into words what I was wanting to say the other day.
I do think it's possible to be to blue to play the blues. Hell I've been there.
Things always get better with time!
7.o.3.
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Joe_L
1606 posts
Nov 13, 2011
6:19 PM
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Todd - sorry to hear about your patch of bad luck. For me, I feel better when playing music. Learning new tunes forces me to get my mind off the challenges that i face in life. It is my escape.
Maybe you could find some tunes that could help you express your feelings. Afterwards, you could get out and perform them in public.
Stay cool!
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jawbone
462 posts
Nov 13, 2011
8:49 PM
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Hey Todd - sorry to hear of your troubles.
As to playing - I think when you are going thru the grief, trouble, pain, etc. it is hard to put it in perspective. When it has passed, you can reflect back and then insert it into your playing.
Then again, I haven't picked up a harp since late August!!??!!
Hang in there, buddy.
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If it ain't got harp - it ain't really blues!!!!
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Oisin
892 posts
Nov 14, 2011
2:47 AM
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Todd...I'm sorry to hear about all the shit happening in your life but don't give up man.
Last night we found out our 13 year old son has started smoking. My missus and I had a huge row over how to approach it which continued into this morning.
When I got the two kids packed off to school and she left for work I was feeling pretty low and very resentful towards both my missus and kid. Then I logged on here and read your story. When I finished here I pulled out my little Pignose,a mic and C harp, whent into the kitchen and just blasted away for 20 mins. I feel a whole lot better now. I'm just gonna take a walk to the shops and have a think about how to handle this situation but I'm really glad I had that little blow out. Give it a try man.
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Oisin
Last Edited by on Nov 14, 2011 2:48 AM
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nicewrk
24 posts
Nov 14, 2011
3:45 AM
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I had an ol dog and his name was blue, bet ya five
dollar hes a good dog too. Blues takes every thing life hands it and make it resonate, trouble coming, troubles here, trouble brewin and Thank God troubles pass. Blues aint nothin but a man feelin bad about a woman and tellin that story. I hope you get to feelin better and be thankful that when everything else is gone you still got them blues.
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tookatooka
2580 posts
Nov 14, 2011
4:12 AM
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@Todd. I'm so, so sorry to hear that. I had a situation a month back when I was trying to do my BYBO3 entry and I lost my little friend of 16 years. I couldn't blow to save my life. I know how you feel and just hope things improve before too long. Thinking of you and sending good vibes. TK2.
Last Edited by on Nov 14, 2011 4:12 AM
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jbone
683 posts
Nov 14, 2011
4:31 AM
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from the same table we breakfast joy we also sup on sadness. of course we have times where we're somehow paralyzed by emotion, by what's going on in our world. nobody can put a limit on how long this lasts but it is the grieving process. it is a process and when you are ready you will go past this phase.
11 years ago my wife gave me the boot, then threw a wrench into our finances and moved half the country away. i ended up living at a house soon to be foreclosed, with a huge credit debt i had no clue about until the bills began coming in. she even took the dog.
i had left a long standing job at her suggestion and was so depressed i bombed out of the school she'd gotten me into. dark times indeed.
i lived on the very edge of town. nobody thought to come and visit very often. in the final analysis i had to carry myself through this hard hard time. once i became visible to my community of friends, they reached out to me. once i began moving through the routines of everyday life, i began to emerge from depression. music did become a major part of my life that year as it had been for years before that all happened.
there are times though that we have to just be on the sidelines and let the internal process run for a while. eventually the pain and ennui lessens and we relearn to live life on its own terms.
give until you are exhausted. sleep like the dead. force yourself to carry on. you will heal.
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Shredder
319 posts
Nov 14, 2011
4:51 AM
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Todd, you an't alone. My dogs are like kids to me. I've been blessed to have had several Good dogs over the years. The one I have now, it's gona be ruff when she passes. Hopefully it will be a while, she's 5yrs old now.
Time heals all wounds,all wounds heal with time.When you work thru this and you play again just remember how you feel and draw from the emotion. That's when the blues really start to flow and any one that hears it will feel it.
Mike
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colman
100 posts
Nov 14, 2011
5:32 AM
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the BLUES are the cure for all the woe,it`s the one way out for most negative $hit that hit us.
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HarpNinja
1885 posts
Nov 14, 2011
6:23 AM
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Todd,
I am truly sorry for your recent situation. It is bittersweet that forums like this can connect people from all over. A post like this makes me wish a bunch of us could get together this week and go raise some hell.
Regarding being too blue for the blues - I think there is a lot of truth to that. IMHO, much of the emotional connection the blues makes with us is the universal themes and the way the music actually creates a feeling of triumph...that although the blues exist, and will come back, they can be dealt with.
While knee deep in it, it is hard to feel like you can overcome it to then own it at a level where it can fuel art rather than get you down.
I hope that makes sense. Blues music, to me, is the sound of an artist taking a difficult situation and stomping on it. Eventually, you'll feel like stomping again!
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Mike
Quicksilver Custom Harmonicas
VHT Special 6 Mods
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ricanefan
116 posts
Nov 14, 2011
7:08 AM
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Todd,
I've been there, too. Different reasons, but same result: I couldn't pick up a harp for almost two months. When I was ready, the harmonica returned to it's place in my life.
Stay strong - you'll get through it. You've got plenty of friends here, and I'm sure at home, too - use them when you need to.
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Littoral
427 posts
Nov 14, 2011
7:53 AM
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Dang, I could have written your post.
First, to answer your question, I don't enjoy playing when I'm upset about other things. I enjoy playing & that's why I play. Like Mike said, "Eventually, you'll feel like stomping again!"
Meanwhile, my f-ing wife has prolonged this shit for two years - and it was TOTALLY unnecessary. Your kids and mine, I believe, are similar in age, 9 & 11. They're doing well with it, and that's all I really care about. There's a great upside too, I can create my part of what I want them to experience growing up. That's been awesome.
I'm expecting a final hearing soon.
Also from Mike, "A post like this makes me wish a bunch of us could get together this week and go raise some hell.".
I live 6 hours east and maybe we will have a party sometime, but with our kids. I live near the coast & I'm a PRO at saltwater things, especially with kids.
Also, I need to do N.O. with my kids. One of my favorite places ever.
Last Edited by on Nov 14, 2011 7:55 AM
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Dog Face
156 posts
Nov 14, 2011
7:55 AM
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I know exactly what you're talking about. I was just thinking about asking the same question to find out if it was just me. It's frustrating even more because you want to play to relieve tension but you are too upset to play which troubles you a bit more. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
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Brad
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sorin
338 posts
Nov 14, 2011
8:32 AM
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Tod , sorry to hear about all your problems . I know exactly how you feel , I am in the same situation , right now , on both fronts , my wife of 13 years and my dog of 6 , are both gone from my life . I didn't touch the harp in months , strangely enough I picked up guitar again .
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Tommy the Hat
405 posts
Nov 14, 2011
9:49 AM
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Todd, first off, I wish you all the best. Hang in there. People say "it will get better." I won't say that because I'm not sure if that is completely correct. In my case, it just gets "different" which can be misinterpreted as better. The thoughts just get burried under other crap and you just notice it less.
As for the wife issue, I can't really relate. I don't nor ever had those types of issues. I did loose a dog.
But I have suffered and still do, what are what I consider serious issues (for me..maybe not for someone else). But I have found in life that everyone's problems are their own and each of them carries its own personal seriousness. Everyone thinks their problems are worse than the next guys. And they are right. It's personal. I won't get into my own demons but they seem to just linger in the air and become compounded as time goes on (for me). The only thing I will say as far as what started it for me is this. In 1999 my 12 year old little girl went to school. At 3:00 I met the School bus and she wasn't on it. No one saw her and no one knew anything. I can't tell you the horror especially once the sun goes down. Four days passed before we found out anything at all. We got her back, but what I usually say or think to myself is that we got her body back. My baby was gone and although she is still here today physically and doing fine, the little girl I sent to school never came home. As for the rest of it and my life in general I won't get into it. And besides, like I said. Life experience tells me that there are those out there with worse problems. If it's "your" problem, then it is always worse than the next guys.
But in any of my real bad times music or anything else I love goes out the window. I don't feel like playing. maybe blues music, or any music built on emotion is born out of hardship or whatever. But that comes as inspiration after the fact. When you are deep in it...if it's deep enough...you ain't thinking about pickin up your instrument. Or your golf game, or your karate practice or your most passionate hobbies.
Take a break. There are no rules on this.
Just my 2 cents.
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Tommy
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toddlgreene
3452 posts
Nov 14, 2011
10:27 AM
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Wow, Tommy-as a father who has had some close calls from two boys in a row who find it amusing to hide from everyone until the point where neighborhood panic ensues-but never anything close to what you went through. My heart goes out to you.
To everyone, thanks for the sentiments. Yes, life goes on, and my problems seem so minimal to many others, so I really have to focus on counting my blessings snd all the positive things in my life.
As for get-togethers? Hell yeah, I will try my damndest once again to attend HCH III, and perhaps some weekend trips to some of your locales might be in order soon, as well. I'm a foodie, so those of you who live in areas with grub I feel the need to sample(and/or learn to cook) will most probably get visited first!
But, back on the subtopic:I think we deal with crisis in three main stages. You psych majors can feel free to add to this:
1.the event and our immediate response
2.damage control-the reailty sets in, grieving and sadness rule your mind and being
3.recovery-you've accepted it, and have focused on the positive now, and can reflect back on the event from a learning perspective.
Stage 3 is songwritin' time!
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Todd L. Greene
Last Edited by on Nov 14, 2011 12:52 PM
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Tommy the Hat
406 posts
Nov 14, 2011
11:54 AM
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"To everyone, thanks for the sentiments. Yes, life goes on, and my problems seem so minimal to many others, so I really have to focus on counting my blessings snd all the positive things in my life."
I don't think so and that is what I was trying to get across in my post. That we all have different problems but they are all personal, none worse than the next guys except in the eyes of the one looking in from the outside. To each of us our problems are devastating. For one person the loss of a loved one is terrible. For someone else the loss of a job is just as terrible "to them." Maybe not to someone else but to them, at the time, it may be. Maybe without a job their whole family will be out in the street, or maybe a medical procedure will not be had that can save a life...who knows. Our individual suffering is our own.
I mentioned a small piece of a problem I suffered through but only to offer some experience in dealing with problems. I surely can't compare your grief to mine and I'm certainly not implying mine was or is worse. Pain is pain. Problems are problems, they are all the same to the ones having them. But if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger right? Ha! easy to say..lol.
But you are correct. Stage 3="Music!"
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Tommy
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MP
1878 posts
Nov 14, 2011
5:15 PM
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Todd, condolences. hang in there buddy.
Tommy, you nailed it. i lost my one and only four months ago.
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MP
doctor of semiotics and reed replacement.
"making the world a better place, one harmonica at a time"
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Pluto
192 posts
Nov 15, 2011
8:15 AM
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Todd,
My condolences as well.
I agree with your observation. Playing harp when you're depressed is difficult if not impossible. I too play much better when I'm feeling good.
I have two senior labs. I went to a Curtis Salgado acoustic concert a while back and he featured a song
"why can't my dog live longer". Both my wife and I were reduced to tears
Last Edited by on Nov 15, 2011 8:16 AM
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