tookatooka
1353 posts
Apr 18, 2010
4:14 PM
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Got an opportunity to play live next Friday but suffer from extreme nerves. I don't drink or do drugs. Any ideas please anyone?
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hvyj
284 posts
Apr 18, 2010
4:29 PM
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You play extremely well, so RELAX, focus on the music and JUST PLAY. Don't think about it, except to the extent you have to listen to the other musicians and think about when to play and when to lay out. Other than that, don't over think it, RELAX, forget that there is an audience and just do it--just play. Become one with the music, stay in the moment, and for a player of your caliber, everything else will take care of itself.
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Oisin
540 posts
Apr 18, 2010
4:31 PM
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Take a big deep breath, an just get up and do it Tooka. I promise that after 2 minutes your nerves will have gone and you'll start to enjoy yourself.And I guarantee once you come off the stage you will want to get straight back up again.
A bit of relaxing breathing and visualisation just before you get up can help too.Of course learning the songs you're going to play is obviously a good idea.
If you find the nerves have got the better of you and you just can't do it then why not go along to a jam and play there? It's a much more relaxed atmosphere and the people there have heard all types playing and won't be critical of you..in fact the opposite and will encourage you. Then when the opportunity arrives again you'll be that bit more confident.
Although I have frequently played after a few drinks or a spliff I wouldn't recommend it for the first time. I'd say playing drunk is the worst thing to try and do..you will sound like crap but won't realise it, in fact you'll think you were brilliant!
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saregapadanisa
176 posts
Apr 18, 2010
4:39 PM
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I've performed for years in quite different settings, different audiences, and even with different instruments, and still have no clue about avoiding stage fright.
Tried some yoga at some point, the benefit of which evaporated as soon as I put a foot on the stage.
What I do now is just mean : I try to convince myself that I just don't care, which is an insult to honest thinking, but brings me some relief.
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toddlgreene
1234 posts
Apr 18, 2010
5:07 PM
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All good advice above. I have a bit of a ritual. i don't get stagefright, per se, but I am affected.
First off, practice, practice, practice beforehand. Get your harps and any other gear ready to go-cleaned, tuned, packed, cables/electronincs/amps(if applicable)ops checked. Your instincts and muscle memory and all that practice and preparation coupled will give you the preparations you need-so no need to worry about any of that. I plan myself a nice, relaxing meal-nothing too spicy or greasy that might cause me issues later on. I try my best to just relax and enjoy some quiet time. Plan your time after the meal so you won't be rushed-setups vary greatly, soundmen vary too. Remember all along that music is FUN. I'm willing to bet that once you play that first note, all the nervousness will fall away.
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Todd L Greene. V.P.
Last Edited by on Apr 18, 2010 5:07 PM
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eharp
643 posts
Apr 18, 2010
5:07 PM
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put this thought in your mind (i know it seems cold and heartless):
"f-these people. i do not know them. i do not care what they think. i will never see these people again. i am hear for my enjoyment because i am the only one how is of importance."
then when they are not booing or throwing things and actually cheering, let these thoughts dissolve. realize they want you to do well. they didnt come out to have a bad time.
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OzarkRich
196 posts
Apr 18, 2010
5:08 PM
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1. Don't think about it too much. Practice, etc but think of it as any other activity that you're used to and when the time comes, just do it.
2. If you choke up or make a mistake, ignore it and "plow through". Unless its a recognizable riff or something (not likely on harp) no one will notice.
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Ozark Rich
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Aussiesucker
604 posts
Apr 18, 2010
5:35 PM
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Tooka, it's a fabulous experience. I did it for the first time early last year to an audience of ca200 people. Hell I was sh*t scared & trembling with nerves. I played solo with no backing on a medley lasting 3 minutes. Then a solo of Summertime to which I had backing. When into it I was going ok & really enjoying the experience. I made early mistakes but it was no big deal. I had a second shot to a similar size audience mid last year and the experience was the same but the audience didn't matter nearly as much because the first one was at the Hohner Golden Harmonica Australian Championships. I didn't get anywhere but the audience was appreciative & I received lots of really uplifting comments from audience members and other participants.
If you really know your piece and have warmed up on practice just prior to playing you will have no probs. Personally I would have liked to have had a good warm up on the harp immediately beforehand but in both shows there wasn't that opportunity ie it was straight up which for me produced some early minor mistakes.
Good luck. You will enjoy it and you will play well.
I also tried some Busking prior to Christmas & the experience was good. The more you do it the easier it becomes.
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kudzurunner
1349 posts
Apr 18, 2010
5:36 PM
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It's too bad you don't drink. When I first sat in with Tippy Larkin at Showman's Cafe in Harlem, I think I had four Heinekens while sitting at the bar waiting for him to call me up. That only works if you've got solid chops and a hell of a lot of adrenaline going on, but it DOES work.
Tips:
1) In the privacy of your own woodshed, do some visualization and work-throughs. Imagine the moment. Conjure it up as viscerally as you can. How will you be feeling? How ARE you feeling? OK. Now play with all that flowing through you. If you're scared to engage in this visualization exercise, you shouldn't even think about getting up in public. If you're able to engage in this exercise, it will help prepare you. When I'm running a 5K, I always jog the course as a warmup, and I mutter out loud to myself, talking myself through the parts of the course where I'm going to be hurting. I try to find the point on the course where I'm going to be hurting the worst. You might go to the club where you'll be sitting in, on an off night, and mutter to yourself (quietly) as you stand next to the stage. Tell yourself what you're going to do on Game Night.
2) Resolve that you're going to go down in flames, and get it out of the way. Lose your virginity. You'll be less nervous each successive time.
3) When all else fails, I always remind myself that it could be worse: I could be dead and forgotten, buried six feet underground, rotted away, and GONE. Next to that, what's a little harp playing? Fear?!?!? WTF is that? I'm surrounded by dead people buried in the ground, any of whom would give EVERY LAST BIT OF CASH THEY EVER POSSESSED in order to suddenly be given life again, walk up on that stage, and "deal with stage fright." I mean really. If this meditation makes you chuckle, that's the point. Really what this is about is the ego. Your ego is the thing that makes you feel small, fearful, and incapable of doing what you need to do. It's really about feeling the fear and reframing it as: Hey, at least I'm f-cking ALIVE! I'm not stone-cold dead, in the ground. It could be worse!" Then it's about feeling blessed to be alive and confronted with a warrior's challenge.
It could be worse. I don't care how frightening you find the idea of getting up on that stage. You could be on the 89th floor of the World Trade Center on a warm September morning when all hell is breaking loose. Next to that, you're on easy street. Remember I told you so. Take that with you into the battle.
Last Edited by on Apr 18, 2010 5:41 PM
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Oisin
541 posts
Apr 18, 2010
7:12 PM
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Tooka,
have a read of this page from my local jams website. It's for people new to the jam. The last bit is especially for people like youself who are feeling a bit nervous.Some good advice.
http://www.coachandhorsesbluesjam.com/essential_fyi.shtml
Oisin
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Shredder
164 posts
Apr 18, 2010
7:42 PM
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TOOK,
I find if I look over the heads of the spectators and never make real eye contact I have more concentration on what I'm doing and not easly side tracked.
Every now and then I will give a wink to the pretty women on the dance floor though!
Keep a spair harp in hand or within quick reach if some thing happens to the one your playing, learned that lesson the hard way.
Hang in there, it's some of the best times you'll have playing. Be carefull , it's addictive.
Mike
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Joe_L
171 posts
Apr 18, 2010
7:59 PM
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1. There are going to be times when you will crash and burn. Accept it.
2. There are also going to be times when you feel like you knocked it out of the park. Accept it.
The more frequently you play, the less frequently you will nervous about it AND the more frequently you will have good feelings, rather than bad feelings.
Unless you screw up really badly, no one is going to get hurt. Depending on where you live, it's unlikely that James Cotton is going to come strolling in at the beginning of your tune.
It gets much easier, the more you do it. So, get out there and just do it! It can be one of the coolest feelings in the world.
Last Edited by on Apr 18, 2010 8:01 PM
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Kyzer Sosa
393 posts
Apr 18, 2010
8:28 PM
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get yourself some cheap sunglasses...
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Kyzer's Travels
Kyzer's Artwork
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nacoran
1706 posts
Apr 18, 2010
9:50 PM
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If you get freaked out before you go up, just take deep, slow, relaxed breaths. I've discovered a wonderful side affect of playing harmonica. I've played other wind instruments before and it's blow, blow, blow, blow...
I actually have panic attacks, not from going up on stage, but other parts of my life. When I feel one coming on, the first thing I do is grab my harp. Sure, music is great for calming you down, but harps are even better. Physiologically, on of the first things we do during a fight or flight response is change our breathing patterns. Guess what? If you're playing harmonica it changes 'em right back. So even if you get a little nervous walking onto the stage once you start blowing and drawing the harp will bring you back.
It's better than Xanax.
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Nate
Facebook
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Ant138
412 posts
Apr 18, 2010
11:11 PM
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Ive done 2 open mic nights and i know how you feel. I was so nervous i felt sick,but the good news is as soon as you get up there you forget about the nerves and the crowd. I have faith in you tooka!!
If its any consolation im in liverpool waiting to go to work to deliver a course to 15 people i dont know. Im nervous as hell!!!!
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harmonicanick
717 posts
Apr 19, 2010
12:42 AM
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Good luck mate, a few thoughts,
Adrenalin makes the musician's speed up. Slow down conciously.
Stand to play, and like shredder says look over the heads of the audience, with head high.
Glance at the band for eye contact but go back to looking front.
make sure you have the right key harp and go for it!
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Oxharp
269 posts
Apr 19, 2010
12:49 AM
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Hi tookatooka,
Adam gave me some wonderful advice when I asked him about this very subject and what he said on this thread is just as applicable now as it was then.
I also suffer from severe panic attacks and they are especially extreme in crowded places so you can imagine what stress I was under just getting myself to a jam for the first time.
It took all my courage and I was fighting my demons 247 once I had made up my mind to even go to a jam.
When I got there I was almost at the point of complete frozen panic but a tiny little voice pushed me on.
I had been practicing like crazy at home and that gave me some comfort knowing that I could play if I was pushed. I had come this far and it took all my reserve to stay calm on the outside and put my name down to play. That was my little goal for the day.
Something happened just after I put me name down. My panic attack subsided and a positive voice came through saying f**k it what the worst that can happen you have come this far its just a bit more.
My call came I got up on stage and worked out the key etc and closed my eyes and trusted my self and I had a great time and have never looked back. The vid was recorded and is on my you tube site after 10 months of playing. I hate to watch it now but it serves as a great reminder of how far I have come.
I still have the attacks but less frequent now and my life has changed completely from that of an almost recluse to a normal human being who can socialise and just enjoy the everyday things around me.
I owe all that to Mr Adam Gussow and this fabulous instrument called the Harmonica.
My mantra now is “Leave your Ego/Demons at the door there is no place for them here.
Bite the bullet. Grasp the nettle and go for it what the worse that can happen.
If you think of stage fright as a passing/temporary thing then it will pass.
Positive thinking is such a powerful skill to cultivate and grow.
Good luck and don’t think too much.
Regards
Russ
Oxharp
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gene
443 posts
Apr 19, 2010
12:54 AM
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Here's part of an article I found:
"A priest, minister, or rabbi, is one who serves the function of providing, or leading people to, spiritual food. He or she leads the congregation to commune with a higher, spiritual reality. I assume that such a spiritual figure, when they are conducting services, are wholly focused on what they are doing. I assume they are not up there thinking “gee, how am I doing? Hope the congregation is liking this! Likewise, I assume the congregation is focused on the reason they are there, to participate in a mutual “spiritual” experience, which the leader is providing. I assume they are not sitting there waiting for the guy to trip up a couple of words! I assume that if the leader misses or mumbles a few words here and there it is not going to make the participants lose their entire focus, and miss the spirit of the experience.
"Many performers create terrible strictures for themselves by being so afraid of missing a few notes here and there. They play as if their primary focus was to not miss a note, instead of playing with feeling and expression. That would be like giving a speech, and focusing more on your articulation than on the meaning of what you had to say. Of course, it is not like the technical aspects are not important, but they are of SECONDARY importance. Music began because something needed to be expressed that couldn’t be expressed in words. Technique is the servant of expression, and should never be the master. Anyway, technical matters will take care of themselves when we know how to practice correctly."
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nacoran
1709 posts
Apr 19, 2010
12:55 AM
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harmonicanick- That's good advice. Back in college I took a journalism class. We had a project where we had to give a 2 minute news synopsis like you'd hear on the radio. I over prepared a bit, (we got to write whatever we wanted so I was having some fun with it) and when I practice if I recited it as fast as I possible could I could get it in just at 2 minutes talking really fast.
When I actually read it for class it to 45 seconds. :)
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Nate
Facebook
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captainbliss
65 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:17 AM
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@tookatooka:
You are where you are.
If you're nervous, you're nervous, if you're scared, you're scared. You can only play as well as you can play.
Embrace where you are. Take a deep breath and celebrate it.
If catch yourself...
Getting caught up in thinking you OUGHT to be unafraid when you're about to do something scary...
Kidding yourself that you OUGHT to be a seasoned old hand when you're not...
Thinking you OUGHT to be able to play or perform better than you can...
Smile!
It's what we all do (well, it's what I do and I've played hundreds of shows)...
Enjoy (every second, if you can) for what it is; you're a human being who has the gift of playing live to other human beings something which is musically meaningful...
Ain't that wonderful?
oxharp (unsurprisingly, since I know him and he is a wise fellow) is wise in his comments here.
Demons beat you down, ego puffs you up...
Both are not to be trusted, they'll try to take you away from where you are...
And screw things up.
Don't let 'em.
After all...
You are where you are.
xxx
EDIT: @kudzurunner:
/It's too bad you don't drink [..] but it DOES work./
Mileage may vary, I think. Worked a little too well for me (well, in the short term, anyway), which is why I don't any more...
LOVE the visualisation / "work-through" point, though. Very well observed and nicely put.
And yes, one does have to muddle through one's first time(s) as best one can, doesn't one?
S'pose it helps to be have a more experienced partner, too...
Last Edited by on Apr 19, 2010 2:45 AM
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tookatooka
1354 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:25 AM
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Sorry I didn't come back sooner. I fired off that post and it was time for bed.
Thanks a lot for all the advice. I will read and re-read a few times and take it all in.
It's not a jam. My Dad died last week and I want to play something slow and mournful at the funeral on Friday. There will be quite a lot of relations, his old friends and people he knew there and apart from feeling a bit choked up myself I was concerned about the nerves.
My Dad was a bit of a clown and the funeral wont be a morbid affair. He knew I was learning the harp but because he lived so far away in Cornwall and was suffering from dementia, I never got the opportunity to play for him. I'll play for him on Friday though.
Thanks for all the advice. As I say I'll take it all in and hopefully, if I don't bottle out at the last minute, I'll get my wife to video it and post on the forum.
Thanks everyone. You are all so very supportive. Thanks.
Last Edited by on Apr 19, 2010 2:28 AM
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captainbliss
66 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:33 AM
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@tookatooka:
My condolences.
Friday seems to be funeral day. Your father, an old friend's brother, both my grandparents...
Hope preparations / the day all go OK for you and your family.
xxx
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wallyns10
159 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:33 AM
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WOW...I really need to read more than just the thread title sometimes. My condolences...
Last Edited by on Apr 20, 2010 5:01 AM
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Nastyolddog
564 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:44 AM
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Play with heart my Friend,
Your allowed to Cry for your Dad,
you sing to Him Bro:)
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jbone
308 posts
Apr 19, 2010
4:44 AM
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having once totally screwed up on stage just as Sam Myers was walking in with a gal on each arm, not to mention stepping on my mic cord and yanking it out of the mic in the middle of a solo when opening for Bobby Rush once upon a time, and most importantly having survived both of those farces unscathed, i can tell you, there is really nothing to fear.
to me though, this is pre-performance anxiety and some folks just are stuck with it. our own mind can be a real hindrance.
the good news is, once you make that walk onto the stage, pick up a harp, and hit the first note, generally you become one with the band and the songs and you don't have time to worry any more. you will do what you know to do and you will focus on the song at hand and how you can add to it.
to me the audience is sort of secondary. early on i'd be watching to see if people were leaving when i was playing and i made a big deal in my mind about this and took it personally. or i'd see people having a conversation and believe they must be ripping me a new one. the result of this over concentration was, i'd screw up. so i had to quit watching the audience and focus on my stage mates and on my playing. be in the moment. not think ahead but respond to the song as it unwound around me.
i know that after a few times on stage, actually getting applause, and even compliments from folks once i got off stage, i began to calm down.
the beauty of live music is, people have short memories of stage mistakes, esp a note here or there. if i were to stay home until i could do everything perfect all the time i'd never have gotten out of the house, but people forget a faux pas almost as soon as it happens. they tend to remember the good in a performance esp if one's attitude is a calm self-assurance. and it's ok to act one's way into that self-assurance.
very sorry to hear you've lost your dad. i can tell you i lost a dear friend some years ago and he was a band mate, we were as close as brothers. i was asked to play and sing at his service, which i did. the guitarist totally went off track in the middle of "Sittin On Top of the World" on me, and i had to just bull my way through the song, and i kicked the guitarist to get him back on track. nobody said a word about it, and afterward they had nothing but compliments and gratitude for both of us, for giving them a taste of the music their cherished son and brother had loved so well.
Took, you will do fine with this. just speak to your Dad with your instrument, and he'll hear you and comfort you.
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toddlgreene
1241 posts
Apr 19, 2010
5:01 AM
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My condolences on your loss, Tooka. Didn't you write something for another funeral or dedicated to another relative recently? Since you now say what you'll be doing is not a typical gig, and instead it's probably a single tune played solo, don't just practice it from beginning to end, but also break it into parts-if you know it well, this will be easy, and you can concentrate on your attack and techniques as well as playing the proper notes. Record these bits if you can, and compare it to yourself playing the whole tune at once. Performance time? Breathe slowly, think of a memory of your dad that always makes you smile, and play. You'll do fine.
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Todd L Greene. V.P.
Last Edited by on Apr 19, 2010 5:02 AM
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saregapadanisa
177 posts
Apr 19, 2010
5:32 AM
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Condolences, Tooka.
Your audience will be listening straight to your heart, not to your harp thing.
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gene
444 posts
Apr 19, 2010
12:37 PM
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John Lennon never got over stage fright. He had it so bad, he'd puke before shows. Maybe that tells you that stage fright can be a really misplaced emotion.
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kudzurunner
1351 posts
Apr 19, 2010
1:14 PM
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tooka:
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I had no way knowing what your true situation was from your original post, but in retrospect my suggestions--"Just remind yourself that it could always be worse; you could be dead"--sounds pretty damned idiotic, thoughtless, and in horrifyingly bad taste. Instead of cringing and hating myself all day, I'll choose to forgive myself for not being perfect, and maybe even laugh at my own inadvertent idiocy.
The truth is, everybody at the funeral will be moved by WHATEVER you do in a harmonica way, and whatever you say. It's truly a no-lose situation. If your heart is telling you to play for your father, you should motor right on ahead and play for your father.
One thing that helped me deal with stage fright, strangely, was beginning to discover the original meaning of courage. The word is related to "coeur," the French word for heart. Love, and open-heartedness, are the antidotes to fear. Richard the Lionhearted was Richard the Courageous was Richard the Fearless. Same idea; same word, more or less. Wherever you carry your warmest, strongest feelings for your father is the place that will protect you when you pull out that harp and get ready to play.
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Kyzer Sosa
406 posts
Apr 19, 2010
1:52 PM
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tooka, i cant imagine. so much is going on elsewhere in your mind. its tumultuous moment in your life and i dont know how long youve been playing, or practicing what you will play at the funeral...but kudzu's right, they will be moved, regardless. My father wants me to play at his funeral, and although it's something i cant bear to think about, i will approach that situation entirely different than i ever will any gig i ever get from here on out. its for him, and no one else, and no one would dare critique you or doubt your emotion. tell your father goodbye the best way you know how, and wail for him one last time. when you play...everyone there will know, without a doubt, that you are his loving son.
Kudzu, you speak volumes of wisdom for tooka in that post.
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Kyzer's Travels
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nacoran
1717 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:15 PM
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Sorry to hear that Tooka. My condolences. Just play. Remembering that you played for him will outweigh any temporary feelings of stage fright.
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Nate
Facebook
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PaulM
17 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:52 PM
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Tooka,
Condolences to you and your family.
As a new performer, my biggest stress is comes when my setup is bad, which normally happens when the band shows up late and is forced to rush things. I would arrive a little early to ensure everything that you are going to play with/through is tweaked to your liking. Then just play. You're going to be awesome.
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harmonicanick
721 posts
Apr 19, 2010
2:56 PM
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My dad died 3 years ago and I could not choose between doing what you propose and saying a poem.
In the end my personal choice was a poem in the church, and I regret not playing a short heartfelt tune on the harp.
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tookatooka
1356 posts
Apr 19, 2010
3:08 PM
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@ Adam @
Oh No! Adam, don't beat yourself up about it, I am very grateful for your good advice. You were not to know the circumstances and it certainly didn't offend. I'm not the overly sensitive type and realise that I should have explained the situation fully in my opening post. Now I feel shit because I made you feel shit. Sorry.
@Kyzer Nacoran PaulM@ and fellow MBH'ers
Thanks for your thoughts fallas. I just hope I'll be able to go through with it. I wrote the eulogy over the past three days and there is some mighty moving stuff that I'll need to get through before the harp bit.
Last Edited by on Apr 19, 2010 3:22 PM
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tookatooka
1357 posts
Apr 19, 2010
3:09 PM
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Thanks harmonicanick. I just gotta do it.
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eharp
644 posts
Apr 19, 2010
3:46 PM
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play from your heart and your dad will know it.
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Delta Dirt
144 posts
Apr 19, 2010
4:49 PM
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One of the first gigs i played years ago was at a cool club in Jackson Ms. Who walks in the club the first set but none other than the late great Sam Myers. I thought ok he will probably be the only one to know my flaws and weaknesses. But lo and behold during the second set in walks freakin Fingers Taylor. Talking about NERVOUS. It all worked out though.. i just gave the audience what they wanted to hear. And that was continually inviting Fingers and Sam to set in all night.Damn i sounded good that night.
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Aussiesucker
607 posts
Apr 19, 2010
4:57 PM
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My condolances to you Tooka.
Is the tune you are going to play the one you were composing and put onto the forum sometime back? Something in 3rd Pos from memory?
All the best you will go ok under the circumstances. The audience won't know but your dad will be listening.
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congaron
835 posts
Apr 19, 2010
7:20 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss. Remember, your audience wants you to succeed in an environment like this one. It is like a church congregation. Friends and relatives are looking forward to your tribute to your dad. Your heart is the driver here...follow it and you will be fine.
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