rharley5652
300 posts
Dec 07, 2010
2:09 PM
|
There were probably many, many times this year when I may have..... Disturbed You, Troubled You, Pestered You, Irritated You, Bugged You, or got on your Nerves!! So today, I just wanted to tell you....
Suck it up Cupcake!
Cause there AIN'T NO CHANGES Planned for 2011
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL !!
---------- Simply Unique Kustom Mic's By Rharley
Last Edited by on Jan 09, 2011 12:20 AM
|
CamiloHarper
36 posts
Dec 07, 2010
2:26 PM
|
Lol, haha. I liked it!! ---------- With some latin flavour for you, chico!! :P
|
Hobostubs Ashlock
1258 posts
Dec 07, 2010
2:30 PM
|
lmaof nice 1 ---------- Hobostubs
|
nacoran
3366 posts
Dec 07, 2010
3:32 PM
|
Lol!
---------- Nate Facebook Thread Organizer
|
snakes
599 posts
Dec 07, 2010
4:24 PM
|
LOL! And back at you.
Last Edited by on Dec 08, 2010 12:36 PM
|
Buzadero
655 posts
Dec 07, 2010
5:01 PM
|
Dear All,
As we move into the last quarter of this year - I want to thank everybody for the educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites me.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a Penny dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a molester waiting to grab me as I bend down to pick it up.
I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider or the Brown Recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.
But, I expect my penis to be very impressive soon.
THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL!
---------- ~Buzadero Underwater Janitor, Patriot
|
bluemoose
433 posts
Dec 07, 2010
6:38 PM
|
That's all well and good Buz...but we need a cute animal picture!
---------- MBH Webbrain FerretCat Webbrain
|
rharley5652
301 posts
Dec 07, 2010
9:38 PM
|
Snake,..thats One Badazz Puppy !!! ---------- Simply Unique Kustom Mic's By Rharley
|
Buzadero
656 posts
Dec 08, 2010
5:19 AM
|
Alas, I am an embed Moron.
Note: The term "moron" is used as part of a feeble attempt at humor. My apologies to any of you actual Morons that may have been offended. No offense was intended.
---------- ~Buzadero Underwater Janitor, Patriot
|
snakes
600 posts
Dec 08, 2010
8:54 AM
|
rharley5652, Yes we call him Eli or sometimes Eliyahu. He is a fairly large Siberian Husky who does not belong on the sofa (but manages to spend a good part of the day there). Some folks are very intimidated when they see his eyes. I need to teach him to smoke cigars and shoot, though. LOL!
|