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Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
CUSTOMIZE YOUR HG
CUSTOMIZE YOUR HG
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MP
291 posts
May 15, 2010
5:23 PM
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everybody ready!! let's roll!!
the first thing i do is pull those crappy speakers and put somethin' good in dere. we experts call this "gettin' rid of the baloney" it's a lot like throwin' out the baloney on your sandwich and replacing it with salami.(cross reference gregg heumanns scholarly, but eye opening,easy for the layman to understand,deli meat post.)
i prefer to use a 3 lb hammer and a pry bar. remember to use protective eyewear. got 'em out? good, now we can start.
afix good speakers with duct tape or plumbers goop to what little remains of the HG cabinet. throw out splinters so you don't poke yourself. WHEW!! now get another beer and get mad and post insults at someone on this forum.
nap time is over. lets check our progress.....
it still doesn't cut the mustard does it? hmmmm, time to pull the chassis.
afix HG with lag bolts to telephone pole. i prefer not to do this in my own neighborhood in case of cops and shit. look in your seydel kit you got fron dave@elkriver for a winch. no winch? jesus! there's everything else in there!
hmmm, none in hohner kit either. just a wrench. looks like we need a drive down to rent-whateveryouplease down the road.
got a winch? cool.
attach winch (i prefer electric but a manual one will do) and HEAVE HO!! alright!!! no cops? let's gather up our gear and get back to the safety of our shop.
to be continued....
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MP
292 posts
May 15, 2010
6:54 PM
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PART 2 CUSTOMIZE YOUR HG
now that we are safe we need tools. the best tools are a 12 pack of bass ale or guiness or a fifth of single malt. i use all three.
when it gets dark and iv'e imbibed enough liquid courage(don't smoke herb, you'll get paranoid) i'll need to procure somemore tools from that pick-up with the locked toolbox behind the cab at the house they were building near the pole where i pulled the chassis.
if there is no truck available, break in to your neighbors tool shed but for christ sake be quiet about it.(don't wear shoes,run barefoot if discovered).
i'm old school dynamite but C-4 sounds every bit as retro to my ears. remember your protective eyewear! don't be greedy with your explosive charge and i hope you are driving at least a V8. (cops-n-sh&t). any style of detonation is cool. the main thing we are looking to get is power and tone.
blew the hell outta that chevy didn't we!!? yeeeeehawww!!
gather up whatever is within a 20' radius n-hall-@ss!! no cops following? cool. turn off headlamps and glide on in to home plate.
have a beer!! or more, you deserve it pardner!!
now let's examine the chassis. claro? or can't make heads or tails of it? try turning on the lights. still no comprende? no matter. we are gonna use the blindfold/dike technique.
stand on a rubber mat with chassis unplugged. blinfold yourself and feel for where you left those dikes. OUCH!! found 'em. aim dikes at chassis and with a stabbing motion, START CUTTIN!!!
what we are doing here is 'gettin' the bugs out'-caps,resistors,etc. remove blindfold. OUCH!! stabbed my cheek with the little dikes!
ram chassis back into HG cab, connect it to new good speakers,plug-in, turn on, and blow.
what? no sound? no worry beef curry, MPs gotcha coverd in part 3
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bluemoose
198 posts
May 15, 2010
8:07 PM
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I bought in at Guinness but for a fifth of single malt I'd pull out the welding torch and get down to serious modifucations.
moose.
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MP
295 posts
May 15, 2010
8:40 PM
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bluemoose, you mind reading fricken bullmoose!!! get ready for some flamethrownin' serious bidness brah!!
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Gwood420
173 posts
May 15, 2010
9:56 PM
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LOL!!! part 3....... can it get better?
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Marty we're no GOD
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MP
297 posts
May 16, 2010
12:50 PM
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PART 3 CUSTOMIZE YOUR HG (BLACKEND AND BLOODIED BUT UNBOWED)
-kickin' 'round the burnt, melted debris and froth-
sorry, but it took a while to put out the fire. the sparks from the HG ignited the oil rag i was using as a blindfold and i was flappin' and stompin' like BIG BIRD from sesame street. i totally wasted all that good beer in the fray!!! had to sit on the porch of the liquor store half the night till it opened.
the biggest problem with harp voiced amps, or any amps-is that they all run on electricity. anyone who says otherwise is stoooopid and i'm willing to go to the floor on this one so trust me. elecricity is a v. real phenomenon. i'm sorry, but i just had to get that off my chest.
call me experienced, call me talented, but i can just tell by looking at the HG scattered about the shop that it is NOT a good amp. some people say i have a "gift". whatever, if it is true, it ain't braggin'.
sometimes i don't take my meds and get REAL PISSED OFF!! like i know this dude who put a master volume on a black faced super reverb!! can you believe that?!! guess what? i happen to know this same guy has a 59 bassman he keeps in a glass case in his living room to show off at parties and sh$t. i need an amp to customize. do i need to draw a picture? with my 3 lb hammer I AM THOR!! or VULCAN!! since i gotta gimpy leg.
we're back in the saddle dudes!! now we need some tools.
the tools are as follows: 12 bass ale, 12 guiness, fifth of single malt, THORS HAMMER, 1970 pontiac tempest with t-shirt over license plates(you can fit a super, a bassman,and a mackie PA in the trunk of this baby BRAH!! whooohoo!!)welding torch,dynamite or C-4, YEEEOO!, and the music of AC/DC, HIGH VOLTAGE!! AAAAHGG!!. like i said, we are looking for power and tone.
make sure you dispose of beer bottles properly. you don't want to get nicked on the open container law. i'm serious dude. i like to throw dead soldiers out the window while driving so the evidence shatters.
cool! master volume boy isn't home. what we need to do now is create a distraction. the 7-11 we passed a few blocks ago is perfect!!
see that dumpster? lets do it!
afix C-4 to flat surface of dumpster. ignite and let's get the hell away.
WHUMP!! great power! good tone! i can hear the sirens already. here i come master volume boy.
cut man sized hole with blow torch in fancy wood door. got it? good. charge living room with hammer held aloft like THOR, or samurai, or favorite super hero. smash glass case to bits and grab the precious.
put precious in pontiac tempest n-haul@ss!!! no cops? of course not bubalouie, they're at 7-11.
glide in to home plate and have a beer pardner, you deserve it. now we can customize!!
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JimInMO
61 posts
May 16, 2010
1:41 PM
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Dang it! I think i wiped the coffee off the monitor in time but had to change keyboards.
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MP
298 posts
May 16, 2010
1:58 PM
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PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR PART 4. SONIC EXPLORATIONS: MP vs. the most sought after amplifier on the planet.
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6SN7
59 posts
May 16, 2010
3:41 PM
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Now I know how you get that barroom brawk patina to your tweed.
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MP
442 posts
Jun 07, 2010
2:14 PM
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SONIC EXPLORATIONS: PART 4.
greetings my chelas,
sorry for the wait but i aquired a medical problem, though i assure you it was not serious, and your avatar mahatma is fit to spit, yo.
it happened when i was lying in the backyard smokin' herb and watching the space shuttle goin' all psychedelic -n-sh@t.
a centipede or a milipede (couldn't tell, but they are both on the metric system) bit my stomach!! yeoow!!
to be continued..
OKAY, just googled 'passive/agressive bugs on the metric system' and the CENTIPEDE is the terrorist. the milipede is a cool guy and it would never occur to him to impede your heath or wellbeing.
now, the best remedy for stomach ailments is a porterhouse steak and boddingtons or "bodies"(lots of 'em).
the main ingredient in "bodies" is H2o and H2o is almost indistinguishable from water. so much so that whether you TB or LP one can barely tell the difference. i add guiness to the boddingtons to give them body.
for desert i had a percostan and woke up in handcuffs.
sooooo, after court appearances, anger management classes, AA and NA meetings, and getting maced by Dog the Bounty Hunters son, i am back and ready to roll, yo!
so let's do this thing!
Last Edited by on Jun 07, 2010 3:41 PM
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MP
443 posts
Jun 07, 2010
4:10 PM
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SON OF A BITCH! this is no 1959 bassman! i've been had by master volume boy! this is a 4X10 FENDER BLUES DEVILLE!
no matter, just say OM.
TOOLS:
(what you will need)
12 orangeboom,1 bombay saffire,1 kettle one and 1 world war two japanese bayonet.
carefully remove 10" speakers with totally cool japanese bayonet. it's okay if you puncture the cones a bit cuz these speakers are nothin' but baloney anyhow. just DOZO my brother.
okay? achtung bitte!
let's see how the amp is performing so far. is the sound claro? when you turn it up to 10 is it deafening? is it plugged in?
HMMM.. my experience and talent tells me the transformer is fried.
no worry beef curry. just say OM cuz SRI MPs gotcha covered.
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Nastyolddog
863 posts
Jun 08, 2010
2:14 AM
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Yo MP I have a Legacy 5 watt a Epiphone VJ Clone,
been thinking of do a custom amp head with my Fender Blues Junior so a had a practise with the Epiclone:)
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MP
448 posts
Jun 08, 2010
2:22 AM
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v. nice nasty! got friend who makes cabs for admiral heads to piggy back on various speaker configuation cabs.
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