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Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
Procrastination
Procrastination
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nacoran
1576 posts
Apr 05, 2010
12:43 PM
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So I started a songwriter's circle and today is the first meeting. I've been suffering from a combination of procrastination, writer's block and minor emergencies. I now have 2 hours to write my first song, something with or about 'Rain' in it. No pressure. Any ideas?
Lol.
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Nate
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toddlgreene
1149 posts
Apr 05, 2010
12:45 PM
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I'll answer this later.
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Todd L Greene. V.P.
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nacoran
1577 posts
Apr 05, 2010
12:47 PM
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Ok. I guess I should stop posting and start writing.
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Nate
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MrVerylongusername
1048 posts
Apr 05, 2010
1:38 PM
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Try and avoid the cliche about rain hiding tears. Yawn!
I love the rain, it clears the air of all the crap floating around - maybe that's an angle?
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nacoran
1578 posts
Apr 05, 2010
3:10 PM
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Ok, so here it is. It isn't pretty. I do a call and response in between the lines on the harp since it doesn't have any other music yet.
Wet Dog
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
Shaking my head
'Bout what you said
Wonder to myself
If I'd be better off dead
I know I'm just a dog with fleas
Sometimes I just do as I please
Get down on all fours
Beggin' darling stay with me
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
Wagging my tail
Chasing every piece of tail I see
Never knowing what I got
'Til it gets away from me
I know I screwed up
I'll take the collar
I stayed out all night
Made you howl and holler
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
I came in from the rain
Like a wet dog
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Nate
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Blown Out Reed
94 posts
Apr 05, 2010
5:18 PM
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I'll give some feedback in a little bit
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CaptainBolide
30 posts
Apr 05, 2010
5:35 PM
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"Like a cold, wet dog"
It seems to need another syllable, to me.
Like a cold, wet dog, ba-by.
I came in from the rain...
Like a ol', wet dog, I...
came in from the cold and rain.
shaking my head, over you...
thinkin'.... 'bout what you said.
Wonderin' to my-self,... ba-by.
If I'm better off......
better off dead, ye-a-h ...
(better off a-lone...ye-ye-ah)
,,,,,,/``,`,``,,`,``,``,,`,``,``,,`,`,`\,,,,,
####[C][a][p][t][B][o][l][i][d][e]####
````\``,`,``,,`,``,``,,`,``,``,,`,`,,/````
Last Edited by on Apr 05, 2010 5:55 PM
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waltertore
343 posts
Apr 05, 2010
5:35 PM
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Hi Nate: I suggest you let go of all your thoughts and let what is inside come out. Most people lock up because they are thinking. Thinking is deadly in creating real art. It has to flow uncontrolled and unfiltered. I do this everytime I pick up an instrument. Forget what you know, concerns about what might others think and flow! The main thing is to enjoy yourself! Walter
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walter tore's spontobeat - a real one man band and over 1 million spontaneously created songs and growing. I record about 300 full length cds a year.
" No one can control anyone, but anyone can let someone control them"
2,000 of my songs
continuous streaming - 200 most current songs
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Last Edited by on Apr 05, 2010 5:36 PM
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nacoran
1583 posts
Apr 05, 2010
8:48 PM
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Walter- It's funny. I had another song I'd been working on, but I didn't like how it turned out, so I wrote that one in about 15 minutes. Sometimes I like to spend a lot of time on a song, sometimes I just like to go with the flow. It's like eating pizza. Sometimes it's good hot, sometimes it's good cold, but it really depends what mood you are in. I really like making up new lyrics on the fly sometimes, but I also really like going over something over and over.
Captain- Your right about the syllables. One of the weird things about most of my lyrics is I fit extra syllables in everywhere. It's not so much that the one line has too few, but that I'll cram all the syllables in the next line into the same number of beats as the short line. It's my peculiar skill. I wrote a song for my friend to sing and he couldn't get the syllables out fast enough.
Thanks for the feedback guys. I recorded a rough version to remember the melody by, but my friend at the song writer's circle actually came up with a better melody for it. I actually am just getting to the point where I can sing something and then get something close to it on the harmonica on the fly.
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Nate
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shanester
154 posts
Apr 05, 2010
8:58 PM
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Looks good to me. Of course the melody, meter and rhythm will provide a lot of context. Keep us posted!
As to the syllable thing, I think of Daniel Johnston. He crams words sometimes and it contributes to the personality of his unique expression quite powerfully.
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http://www.youtube.com/1shanester
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Sirsucksalot
201 posts
Apr 06, 2010
2:49 AM
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It seems to be more about a dog than rain.
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geordiebluesman
299 posts
Apr 06, 2010
3:31 AM
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Hey Nacoran,i think you need to mix it up a bit, make the lyrical rhythum more interesting and create a proper song structure.
All you have here is a bunch of repetitive verses you need a couple of choruses to add something interesting for the listeners ear or they will get bored,also you need a hook
Last Edited by on Apr 06, 2010 3:52 AM
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toddlgreene
1153 posts
Apr 06, 2010
8:39 AM
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Wet dogs smell, too. You could turn this into a concept album.
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Todd L Greene. V.P.
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sgsax
33 posts
Apr 06, 2010
10:56 AM
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Nothing harder than writing songs, especially if you want them to be good. I've only ever written two that I consider good, one of which is on my band's most recent CD. I have a third that I came up with a melody for a while back, but never wrote words for. I have much respect for anyone who writes songs on a regular basis. I don't think I could do it. I'll jam with anybody, anytime, but writing is a whole 'nother ball of wax.
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nacoran
1587 posts
Apr 06, 2010
11:44 AM
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Geordie- I was doing call and answer, answering the vocal line with a harmonica repeat, but yeah, I literally wrote it in about 15 minutes. I've already got a list of things to see if I can get them to work with it. I'd like to work the word 'cur' in there somewhere, and like Captain suggested, I really wanted to do something with the shake my head line to imply a dog shaking off, and like Todd says, wet dogs smell and I don't make any mention of that. I also wanted to get a leash pun in there somewhere.
The structure I was going for was a stanza structure of A B C A D E A, with A being sort of the anchor. I was having a hard time getting a regular rhyme structure, so I did my best to at least get some alliteration in it.
I did a rough recording just to have a reference point but I really want to give it a little more polish, especially the harp part. It's funny, I can sing as bad as I want in front of you guys, but I get embarrassed by the harp part.
edit- oh, and Sirsucksalot, yeah, the rules of the songwriter's circle just say you have to use the word. My first try was much more centered about rain but it's been sunny here the last few days (for a change) and I just wasn't feeling the whole rain theme.
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Nate
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Last Edited by on Apr 06, 2010 12:01 PM
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