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Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
OT: Is This Wrong or Not ?!?!?!?!
OT: Is This Wrong or Not ?!?!?!?!
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Adam Hamil
47 posts
Sep 17, 2012
12:09 PM
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Imagine you are going to a business conference for the niche market that your small business is part of. Being that it is such a small conference, It’s held in a vacation house instead of a hotel (which is normally the case). You pay close to $800 to attend (plane tickets, classes, lodging). Upon arrival everything seems fine. Then, around dinner time with no waring or previous disclosure, The organizer of the event says “everyone out! You can’t be in your rooms. No one can stay in the house while I’m gone at dinner. you all have to leave and go eat dinner right now.” So everyone must now leave the house that they all paid for, while the key holder (who’s being paid to be there) get’s to dictate when those people may re-enter their house. It doesn’t stop there, once everyone is finally let back in the house, they’re told that they can’t leave. B/c the key holder is going to sleep. If anyone were to oppose this situation, they would be told that they have a “bad attitude” and then promptly kicked out of the house with only a partial refund. IS THIS WRONG?!?!?!?!
It is my opinion that if you pay $125 a night to stay somewhere, then you should be free to come and go as you please. And if you are forced to leave for no other reason than opposition to undisclosed rules, you should receive a full refund.
That’s where I stand on the matter. I’m wondering what your opinions on the situation are.
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C. Adam Hamil
HOHNER CERTIFIED Free Reed Instrument Technician
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FMWoodeye
460 posts
Sep 17, 2012
12:44 PM
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Yes, it is wrong. If I were a rude man, I would say that it's bullshit....but I'm not like that.
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1847
214 posts
Sep 17, 2012
1:05 PM
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geez loweezze
you play harmonica
and you cant leave the house cause he is going to sleep hmm
sounds like fun too me
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kudzurunner
3515 posts
Sep 17, 2012
1:09 PM
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If there was truly no warning up front about these two unusual conditions--the requirement that everybody leave the premises while the organizer is away and the requirement that nobody leave the premises while the organizer is asleep--then yes, the organizer's behavior is very wrong. It's bizarre, in fact. But what's bizarre isn't just the lack of prior disclosure (i.e., a warning in advance of the organizer's two unusual requests) but the tone that the organizer took when enforcing these requests.
I would calm down, now that you have returned home, then consider how to respond. One option is to say nothing, but to make a point of steering clear of this person in the future. That's probably what I would do. I'd have compassion for them--what a strange person!--but would then simply steer clear of them, have nothing to do with them in a professional way, if possible, and leave it at that.
You also have the option of writing a letter to the person. You should think carefully about what tone to take. You can calm let the organizer know that you believe he erred in the way he handled the situation. You can let him know that you would have greatly appreciated him informing you in advance of those two conditions on your occupancy. You can do all this in a professional tone of voice that allows him to admit that perhaps he could have handled it better.
Or you can get angry and express all that anger in a letter. This will make you feel good in the short run, but in the long run it will accomplish less than a calmer form of protest, one that gently but firmly lets him know that you believe he made an error in professional judgment.
The least useful response on your part, I think, would be to say nothing to the person directly while badmouthing him behind his back, including forums like this. I'd either keep quiet--after this thread, I mean--and avoid the person, or directly but nonemotionally address the issue with him.
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nacoran
6101 posts
Sep 17, 2012
1:50 PM
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I think I'd try to address it calmly with them first, (and probably avoid them in the future). If there really was no warning though, and this wasn't some confluence of strange events, if this person is running events on an ongoing basis I'd be more inclined to write an open letter, not out of a sense of revenge or anything, but as a heads-up to other people before they find themselves in the same situation.
I agree with Adam completely that any of this should be done directly with the person before going public. Going public would be the last resort.
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Nate
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Noodles
332 posts
Sep 17, 2012
3:46 PM
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You guys are waaaaaay too nice. This was a business transaction. Apparently there was no “Meeting of the Minds” and hence no contract.
Personally, I would have gotten in his face and I would have done it in front of everyone.
If this guy was a “bully” about when you had to leave, come back and then not allowed to leave at your leisure – guess what…. You’re not being treated in a professional manner. If you had no warning (as you say), then you are also being disrespected.
And, you paid this guy for the privilege of being herded like a sheep? Sorry, I would have handled it a bit differently.
There's a time for diplomacy and then there's times to stand up for yourself.
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SuperBee
590 posts
Sep 17, 2012
7:30 PM
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I'm with Noodles on this. Maybe it didn't come across quite the waye it seems, written down, but it sounds like a weekend with the guru at a personality cult. If that's not what it was, I would have dug my heels in. If I can't stay when you walk out the door, for insurance reasons or whatever, then I'd say it's debatable whether you get to walk out if I don't want to leave. But I can't walk out while you're asleep? That's ridiculous!
It does seem way OT tho'
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kudzurunner
3517 posts
Sep 17, 2012
8:10 PM
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BTW, for what it's worth, two minutes of focused research on Google let me identify your niche industry with 98% probability. I won't mention it here, and I'll ask that nobody else does, either. But if it were mentioned here, your name searched in tandem with the one-word title of your industry would turn up this thread on p.1 of Google.
I'm going to suggest that we let this thread fade into the sunset. I'm not trying to shut you down; I'm actually watching your back! Trust me on this.
Last Edited by on Sep 17, 2012 8:12 PM
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Noodles
333 posts
Sep 17, 2012
8:25 PM
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Kudzurunner asked: Noodles, do you have a lot of experience in the business world?
Adam, since you pose a direct question, I will answer. YES. I am retired now. I was a keynote speaker for National and International trade shows. I was a main speaker for 5 consecutive years at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, the LA Convention Center and Ford Field in Detroit. During that same time I was the VP of the 2nd largest contracting company in the world with responsibility of over 300 locations including USA, Great Britian and Japan. None of that matters in this discussion.
I would not take my approach out of ego. Rather, it's about dealing with bullies. They begin in grammar school and continue on, delivering their pain and frustration for the rest of their lives. They bully socially and in business. I've dealt with my share. Well, I had my fill, (can you tell?).
Last Edited by on Sep 17, 2012 9:32 PM
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Steamrollin Stan
561 posts
Sep 18, 2012
3:05 AM
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I would have done it the Aussie way, tell him/it "your a grub"...demand my money back, then a swift kick in the private parts and apoligize for slipping, then get the hell out, how dare he/it change the rules once your committed. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!!
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kudzurunner
3518 posts
Sep 18, 2012
4:43 AM
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@Noodles: OK, you win! I can't argue with that much experience. I guess the obvious question is, During all that time, did you actually have to deal with straight-up bullies of the sort described by the OP, and when you confronted them in public, did it work? I'd be intrigued to hear a case study. But perhaps a public forum isn't the best place to talk about such things.....
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Adam Hamil
48 posts
Sep 18, 2012
7:25 AM
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Thank you everyone for the advice. Also a big thank you to kudzurunner and those of you who know what "niche Market" I'm speaking of for not mentioning it. The last thing I want for this to cause a public uproar and hurt everyone involved, myself included.
I brought my issue to this forum for two reasons:
1. I needed to vent a little.
2. I wanted to make sure that I'm not crazy for having opposition.
I've accomplished both. I agree with kudzurunner that we should let this thread die out. I'm refusing to get angry about this. Anger has caused a million problems but has never solved one. I've taken my problem to the BBB and solutions are in the works. I really appreciate everyone chiming in.
I'm glad to know I'm not crazy haha
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C. Adam Hamil
HOHNER CERTIFIED Free Reed Instrument Technician
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laurent2015
424 posts
Sep 18, 2012
5:44 PM
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You could start asking "were there hidden cameras in the house?"...
It's so weird that it looks like an psychological experiment,you know,like S.Milgram's...
To which extent people will obey?
Last Edited by on Sep 18, 2012 5:46 PM
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