I love the harmonica, but that can't be said for the people I live with and the people who I've met in real life.
I'm a rather young harmonica player (17) and have only been playing for about half a year. A lot of people judge my taste in music and I get shunned by people for it a lot. Even my family seems to be getting fed up with the fact that I play the harmonica. I try not to play it much these days, usually only if I'm outside or if I really really have the urge to play, but usually no matter what it results in somebody telling me to shut up. A few of my family members regularly make comments about how they'd like to smash my harmonicas or that when I play it I "weird out and annoy people."
It's discouraging and it makes me just want to stop playing altogether. The instrument seems to be largely viewed as an annoying toy by the vast majority of people I know. It makes me just want to stop and put my harps away for good. Has anyone else struggled with this feeling? It's depressing and I don't know what to do about it.
I'm an intermediate going by Adam Gussow's level-categorization.
Last Edited by on Mar 17, 2012 7:42 PM
Don't get discourged blues. When I started playing my peers thought the music I played was so uncool. This was back in the early 60's. I played songs from my Grandad and Great Grandad's era and in the same style. Just old barn dance type music, pure hick. I still play it and very few want to hear it. Pure blues players certainly turn up their noses, but I still play. So keep on playing what you want to play and don't give up. ---------- Wisdom does not always come with old age. Sometimes old age arrives alone.
I don't know if this is possible for you, but if you can play to backing tracks when other folks have to listen. It may help.
Repetitive practice of the same licks is great for the woodshed, but it does grate on people's nerves. If they hear you play within the context of a song, it might be more interesting for them and make them tolerate more woodshed-type practicing in the future.
blues, if you can, go into the family car, the basement, barn or where ever you can be alone and practice there. I used to ride my bike up the road to an old school and practice in a big doorway. It had a great echo and no one was ever around. Don't give up!! and never let other's sway you from your desire to play. Lot's of older people will tell you years from now, that they wish they never gave up playing an instrument when they were younger. Keep at it!!
Follow your instincts here. I myself -- knowing what I now now -- should seriously consider quitting. If you have musical interests there are several other instruments you could try, and they will be a) less expensive and b) more approachable than the harmonica. A good piano/guitar/trumpet/saxophone will definitely give you more satisfaction in the long as well as the short run, and surprisingly! will even turn out to be cheaper. (Don´t be fooled by the initial low cost of a diatonic harp.) You will also be seen as a musician by people around you and that´s not too bad. I curse the day I took up the harmonica, but it´s too late now.
Try playing through a big amp in an apartment complex. Angry neighbors will want to lynch you.
I practice almost 100% in my truck just to keep the neighbors happy.
I use a battery powered amp and headphones a lot at home.
Worth noting anyone learning an instrument no matter what is is can be annoying. My parents almost killed me over the sax for the first couple years when I was in school.
The violin was worse. I felt terrible for how bad I sounded on it for a long time.
Harmonica atleast here gets a good deal of respect. People are used to terrible harp. So when you sound good people notice.
Just find a place. Your own private place where you are free to practice. Could be in an alley behind a dumpster, the basement, the woods. An abandoned building. Key is somewhere away from prying ears. There is always somewhere to go.
Practicing I front of people makes me self conscious.
pardon my saying so but at 6 months you may not sound all that great. this may be what annoys your family and friends. i know early on i ended up saying to hell with everyone and working alone, by myself, for a long time. at that time it was either go out in the woods and just work the harp, or wait until i had the house- and the record player and albums- to myself so i could jam with sonny and brownie, cotton, wolf, magic dick, whoever. i honestly had no idea about h0ow to get decent tone for years. it was hard enough just figuring out how to not squeak, squeal, and lock up reeds on the dam things. it took me many years to realize that i needed to really play from my gut and heart in a very physical way. i then began blowing out a lot of reeds, which happened regularly for years until i then discovered that my deep breathing and wind control and air column was key. once i began to learn to breathe deeper and exercise more control, i began to discover tone in a very real sense. meaning it sounded much better and more soulful. more like what i was looking for all along. back in the day, i had no idea how to just be a student let alone how to find resources that would help me. i was just another little stoner with a bad attitude and a few harps. when i let go of my pride and my preconceptions about asking for help and listening to music with a more open mind, i began to learn a lot quicker. blues, believe me, you do not want to take as long as i did to learn the true basics of music and harmonica. i took DECADES. this was because i had an attitude about people based on the reaction of a few negatives. my pride also got in the way of my learning. even while i was still not all that great i was invited to play in a band or 2 and even got paid. eventually i had to face my inadequacy and actually find a way to improve. one of the greatest gifts have had has been a guitar partner. aside from the bands and open mic nights, campfire jams and all that, one person who has played and been patient with me and also challenged me here and there, has made it possible for me to explore a lot of different music styles and ways to play. early on i was a 2nd position snob, i had no need for the nerdy bob dylan/neil young/deford bailey 1st position stuff or the weird and confusing 3rd position jazz and swing stuff of guys like toots thielmanns and others. but eventually i had to admit that those other positions had some real value and attraction. i began with 3rd after hearing guys like carey bell and george harmonica smith and william clarke doing west coast switn in 3rd. what a sound! i also always dug jimmy reed but thought his 1st position thing was pretty much a one trick pony. until i heard some other guys do a lot with it yet never quite get jimmy's tone and timing. this whole harp thing has gotten much bigger than i ever imagined. this "goofy little toy" (someone else's definition), has challenged me for thousands of hours, it's made me money here and there, it's inspired people around me to take up music, it's made me friends and won me a unique respect. it has kept me out of trouble. expanded my mind and my heart and soul. blues, there have been a lot of times i hit a wall and just wanted to quit. usually when i had reached a place where i just didn't get the next lesson, or someone had put me down. or i had wrecked yet another harp drawing too hard or whatever. and sometimes i have put the dam things on a shelf in the closet for a while. eventually i had to get them out and try again.
10 years ago i decided to take a very long view about the whole thing. i have the rest of my life, every day, until i can't physically play any more. so i got to take my time and relax about the whole thing. i found ways to learn new stuff and to accept criticism even if it didn't seem fair. i found place to play where it was appreciated. i have been blessed with a great partner who happens to be my wife as well, but there have been and will be a lot of others in the mix as well.
here is my suggestion to you: find a place to practice undisturbed where nobody can interfere. find also a teacher either in person or online and devote yourself to some lessons in harp technique and breathing as well. keep on the lookout for partners who play guitar, piano, uke, mando, whatever, and work with them when possible. do not be afraid to set the harp down here and there and let your mind sort things out since this can be a source of revelation to you. when you make progress, get out to a soup kitchen, street corner, party, wherever, and play in front of people who may well appreciate it and give you some love and support.
if you try and do at least some of those things you will make progress and develop skills and get to feel good about this. eventually you will know if you are doing well or not, and what to do about it if you're lacking something.
most people can't even do this. many who could won't even try. if you have the desire, and the courage, you are in a unique class of people. just carry on man!! ---------- http://www.reverbnation.com/jawboneandjolene
@Martin- you crack me up! i agree in one sense but it was far too late for me a long long time ago. yes, i have spent a lot of $$ on the latest atomic powered indestructible harps, mics, amps, etc etc which i thought would fix my flaws. yes i even paid for lessons here and there. bought countless records, cassettes, and cd's in hopes that they would transform me. and in a sense they did. we all have to see the possibilities and believe we can do something wild and crazy and distant. early on i may have been a good drummer. later i could have taken up guitar or bass. but what i did was stuck with harp. it's been 40 YEARS now. i doubt i'll change any time soon. the hours i have spent working on these things, on stages and off, have enriched my life like nothing else i have ever done. it was my laziness and stubborn attitude that kept me coming back even when the cost piled up and the rewards were small. i just found a way to carry on, and i have no regrets. this is what i was meant to do.
@blues- by the way i was 17 when i started. ---------- http://www.reverbnation.com/jawboneandjolene
Don't quit! Just stay out of peoples' faces until you got it together. If you love it at all, and the process of developing your craft,the music is bound to come through.
@Martin, if you're being sarcastic you buried it pretty deep. If you're serious, that's just bizarre. Care to explain yourself?
@Blues, look to your first four words, "I love the harmonica". If you meet Adams criteria for an intermediate player after only six months, you may be one of the lucky few who have a real feel for it, and it would be a shame to let others determine whether you fulfill your own dreams. When I was discovering the blues in high school (early 1970's), very few of my friends understood what the appeal was, and refused to listen to blues music, and ridiculed my interest. I allowed them to stifle me, but I should have told them to pound sand, and found real friends. It was only as an adult that I realized they really didn't give a shit about me, in fact they didn't even know me, and were trying to validate their own choices by putting mine down. Music was, for them, something served up by others, they didn't understand it or care how it came to be so long as it was loud and contemporary; they were passengers on the culture train. Stay true to what you love, find ways to do it, seek out people who share your interest, and make friends of them. Real friends will support you because of who you are, not because they can manipulate you through ridicule and derision. Find a teacher, put an ad on Craigslist for guitar players who like blues and want to learn & jam. Look for friendly open mics. Don't quit, don't give up.
Blues, I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. No one has the right to judge your taste in music. Find liked minded people (harp players or guitarists to play with), practice in secret somewhere, and come back and prove to them what an awesome instrument the harp can be.
Edited to remove (captcha induced) jibberish. My own jibberish left untouched.
Last Edited by on Mar 17, 2012 10:16 PM
hey man don't give up. Practice by yourself and get your licks down. If your friends and family don't like the sound of your playing then don't play around them. I used to hate when people played country music, I quit a job once because of it. I practice in my truck,and when my family is away i practice at home, because when you are learning something new, it gets very repetitive. You may be at the point that you are proud of the way you are playing, but the people you want to support you don't recognise it, they don't see how hard it is to get to that level. Go out to a jam where you can play for people that will enjoy your talent and that will encourage you to keep at it. Don't force people that don't appreciate harp to listen to you practice. Don't give up, there are people that want to hear you play, i promise. ---------- LINK
Man don't give up. I been there with that feeling before. It is easy to get discouraged but keep going. I started late in life and still struggle. Sometimes you need to give it a break when you get discouraged. Sleep on it and give it a fresh look in a couple of days but keep away from people that have that negative attitude. People that are very critical without knowledge and experience have their own demons to deal with in life, don't let them spread it on you.
Yeah, listen to what everyone else (except Martin) says. If you love it, just stick with it. It will be so worth it in the long run. Coming from someone who is still somewhat young (26), loving the blues is a lonely road, but when you meet people that also love it, it is really special. So just practice as much and as privately as you can and get out there. They'll probably be older. All the guys I jam with are in their 40's and 50's, but they'll probably be excited that you're into the blues and want to be supportive.
For the first year or so no one liked to listen to me play. Slowly, over the next year most people came around and now, at least in short doses, everyone but my brother has come around, and in his defense, he has tinnitus that harp bothers. He doesn't mind listening to me play my LLF as long as I stay on the low end. (He doesn't mind listening to recordings either. It seems to be an overtone that is getting filtered out in the recording (or maybe not reproduced on my speakers)).
As for what to do, it depends. Cars are great for practicing, at least in the fall and spring. For a long time I'd use Piedmonts when I was practicing in public. They are pretty quiet harps even when you play them loud, and if you are practicing the BBQ Bob variety of harp, and make a good cup, you can make really quiet noise on them. Obviously, when you are working on tone you don't want to play absolutely as quiet as you can, but if you are trying to figure out a note pattern or something it can let you fill in some practice time when you need to be quiet.
Some people won't like blues. Find people who do and hang out with them (or whatever style of music you are into). I live in an apartment building, so most of the time my band practices over out our guitar players house. It takes some work, and it can require some creativity, but you should be able to work around people who don't like the sound.
As for people saying you 'weird out' well, everyone has their quirks! Apparently the people around you have the quirk of not being very supportive. There will always be people like that, whether it's because you are a harp player or because they don't like your hat. Let them know harp is important to you. If it's your parents, show them studies on how music helps make you smarter. If it's friends, find some other friends (that doesn't mean you have to get rid of the old ones, just find some who like harmonica and or blues to spend time with too).
if you want to do something bad enough you will find a way to do it-just get away from the people you are annoying-play in a park,in your car-just get off to yourself and hone your skill when you are ready come back and show them what you can do robert johnson did it got away and came back the best
I think we have all been where you are at. Gradually you will find acceptance with a lot of giving on your part. Even amongst other musicians the harp sometimes doesn't get the'respect' it deserves. I regularly play with a bluegrass group and it's taken time to be accepted as equal. It is satisfying for me to regularly hear from other good musicians who play guitar, mandolins, banjos etc that they really like my harp & often tell me they have one but could not play it.
I was banned from playing at certain times and in most areas within the house. I adhere to the ground rules but it's satisfying now to hear family members humming or singing a tune I have been playing. We do need to respect others space & not inflict 'noise' on them.
i started at about your age. i negro spirituals. for some reason some people will think they will go to hell if they tell you to shut up while playing down by the riverside. but i got told to shut up alot went off into the woods. then got my apartment at 17 and just steeped myself into sonny boy williamson. then one day with a suicidal broken heart i was walkin down the street and dylan and neil young wasnt coming out i was playing help me note for note. after that people at bonfires asked me to play. i didnt get told to STFU so much. soon i was hangin in bars and bands were asking me to play. i had to get something else. something annoying because annoying the hell out of people is fun. and if its funny to you only then thats comedy money cant buy. i took up guitar but all i could play was blues mixed with arabian and hindustani type noodlings. sometimes a cross between persian and flamenco. but it really drives em up the damn wall. so get out there and drive em nuts. youll learn how to purposely play bad and hit sour notes just to be spiteful and make yourself chuckle. you aint quittin kid. youre hooked ;D
If you don't already have some you should get some low key harmonicas to play in the house, they are quieter and easier on the ear for your family members.
Harmonica players are "FREAKS"... right now your a rank amateur freak. Kim Wilson is a PRO FREAK :) - If you love harmonica, simply accept the freak label and NEVER GIVE UP and eventually you'll be freaking people out in a GOOD way. Persevere my friend, or they win ;)
My wife doesn't like the harp much, so i know how it feels. It can be an acquired taste but once you start developing Tone you will find people will start to enjoy it more. Get familiar with the 12 bars for structure and just woodshed.
You'll have people amazed in no time.
I second what belfast_harper says about the lower keys. If my wife's around i'll probably play a G harp TBing style playing, she doesn't seem to mind as much.
Higher than a C or Bb in my case people can tend to think it sounds a bit shrill.
You think you've got problems, when i first started even the dog would give me the Evil Eye every time i took a harp out to play! I definately found myself becoming self concious and a bit paranoid about pissing my family off when i practiced so now I spend 45mins each morning after the family leave on my own and i can properly concentrate on what i am working on. Don't pack it in, I massivly regret not starting this when i was your age because at 17 you can really pick stuff up quick and all the pressures of raising kids and and running a home don't get in the way. Just relax and enjoy the ride and you will end up with something in your life that most people never have, the gift to make music.
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 5:02 AM
If you are wailing and blowing the blues, it will prbably be frowned on unless there is a guitar player with you.
If you want people to say, "that's nice", learn "Happy Birthday" and play it on people's birthdays. (and only on people's birthday)
Learn "Amazing Grace", If you get bored, learn it in 1st, 2nd, and 12th.
Learn Camptown Races and Oh Suzanna.
Save the blues for the RIGHT crowd or for when you're by yourself and can't be heard. ---------- HarmoniCollege March 24, 2012 theharmonicaclub.com (of Huntington, WV)
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 6:36 AM
Well, part of the challenge of getting good at playing the harmonica is that harmonica IS ANNOYING to listen to if not played well. So the challenge is to get good enough at it.
Another thing: A lot of harp playing seems repetitive (and therefore annoying) to many people. And, in reality, many harp players DO tend to regurgitate certain tried and true riffs/licks over and over. I found that learning some basic music theory was a good way for me to find alternatives to to playing the SOS. You know, I don't think anyone around me ever got annoyed with my repetitive practice of scales. Maybe that's because scales have an intrinsic musicality in and of themselves.
The objective is to be able to make the instrument do what you want it to do. Certain things are relatively easy to do on a harmonica and many (if not most) players tend to do those things over and over again, trying to get good at playing them or displaying how good they are at playing them. But those sort of things generally fall into patterns that have a sameness to them, whether well executed or not. I think that's a big part of what people find annoying--SOS again and again, whether well executed or not so well executed. Personally, I feel like I've successfully reached my audience if someone comes up to me and says, "I didn't know you could play THAT on a harmonica." FWIW.
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 9:18 AM
Yes it can be intimidating until you learn to navigate a few basic scales on it and then the skies the limit. By all means it is a very approachable instrument.
Yeah, but the chrom is a different instrument than the diatonic and in the OP I had the impression that blues was talking about the diatonic.
I'm not saying that navigating a few basic or even not so basic scales on the chrom is necessarily any harder--in fact, in certain ways it's easier because you've got the valve (button) to work with. However, you do have to contend with the double C's.
But it IS a different instrument. And the timbre is different on a chrom--not as potentially annoying but not as expressive as a diatonic, either, IMHO. Again I was under the impression blues was talking about playing a diatonic. In certain respects chrom and diatonic are apples and oranges.
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 11:53 AM
Who knows, he may end up the next Toots Thielman and Adam Gussow all rolled up into one big colloberation of harp skills, creating a style never before seen or heard ever before. Seriously, You never know - I hope I see it in my life time!
If you are driven enough you will keep with it. If not, no big deal. If you are living right and following your heart, another passion will fill the void. I don't mean this to be so cut and dry, but when you boil it down to the root, it is really what is going on. Good luck! Walter ---------- walter tore's spontobeat - a real one man band and over 1 million spontaneously created songs and growing. I record about 300 full length cds a year. " life is a daring adventure or nothing at all" - helen keller
@Jbone: I feel your pain, partner. Perhaps there´s somewhere some kind of Harmonicists Anonymous function where people like us can get together and, well ... cry? (6 D on a C harp.)
@easyreeder: "Sarcastic"? No sir, I´m afraid I´m dead serious. What part is bizarre? I said that I still play -- otherwise my activity on this forum would be a bit weird --, although there my be something of a masochistic streak in my personality. Should be punished. Strictly.
i stretched today and pinched something in my spine. now i cant talk normal i have to talk like im holding in smoke. i cant sing or play harp. it usually happens in my neck then my right arm goes completely dead and it feels like a knife under my armpit and i cant play guitar. youre not quitting i wont let you. word.
keep playin because it could be one day some asshole on a cellphone will drive into your back while your stopped at a greenlight letting a fire truck make a left turn.
I feel ya man. Hang in there. I am still a kid myself (26 yrs) and have only been playing for a year a few months. Every year my Mom, I mean Santa, likes to give my siblings and myself something to help us grow, something to broaden our horizon. Well, she, I mean Santa, bought me a little lesson book and harmonica from the bookstore for Christmas a year ago..... Needless to say, it took off like wild-fire. She did not expect it and neither did it. I'm in my last year of undergrad studies, and play my harp all day, all around the campus. I get funny looks from some guys who are "more in touch with reality," but I just make it my thing. It's a quirky little instrument that everyone in the world owns and has played. Only about 1/2 of 1% have stuck with it for longer than 12 minutes. WE ARE THAT 1/2 of 1%!
I do not have much to say for practicalities. Most of the guys above have done that well. Just have fun with it. Put some funk into it.
There are 10 holes between you and reality. Blow your heart out through those 10 little holes. Suck in some fresh life through them.
Reading all the posts, this video came to mind. This video is for you blues!!! Welcome to the world of the blues. I would like to add a line though - "When ya own family is bashin' ya... You got da blues!!"
---------- -- "To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself." - Soren Kierkegaard
http://www.youtube.com/user/gadwagon/videos
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 2:35 PM
Read Metamorphosis by Kafka. It is the story of a man who wakes up to find he has been turned into a cockroach overnight. His family does not understand and ultimately kicks him out of the house. It is in my opinion, about becoming an artist or on a larger scale, becoming yourself. Families often do not understand their children becoming themselves.
One of the high points of my early playing was after about a year when my brother asked me to keep playing instead of the shut up he had been giving me.
It took a while for my family to accept that I was a full time harmonica player. I was around 35 and had already played on Broadway and backed up famous people and they still didn't get it.
Finally I made an inner commitment and told everyone, including my future wife, that they could stay with me or not, but I was a musician. When I made that commitment is when the career really started to flow.
I recommend hanging in there but start figuring out how you can move out. There will be plenty of people who will gravitate towards you as you become a better player because you are a musician. Hopefully you can stay on good terms with your family in the process, but if they are holding you back, move out.
Last Edited by on Mar 18, 2012 9:18 PM
@billy shines- i know whiplash having had it several times. usually a chiropractor has straightened me out. no controversy intended!! i know what works for me. ---------- http://www.reverbnation.com/jawboneandjolene
Switch genres of music. Around your parents, start rapping. Around your friends, start singing bluegrass. Off key. They'll be begging to bring back the harmonica within a week.
As a harp player I get no respect. As a blues lover I can't find it on the radio. After 30 + yrs, I got to say, I love it more than ever. It was never about "them."
Blues, you gotta remember this here. When we all started out no matter how good/great any one of us has ever become, we ALL sucked at one time or another and most people tend to hear, unfortunately, a lot more crappy harp playing than good playing and with harmonica, when it is played badly, it's always going to be annoying, like it or not, and that's the reality.
Also remember this here. Wheras most music fans tend to have a far narrower listening scope than the vast majority of really good musicians do, especially professionals and whatever anyone listens to on the radio, regardless of how original it seems, there are always roots coming from stuff some listeners may not care for and that's why I tell many harp players that you tend to learn more things from playing stuff yoy hate more than the stuff you like because when you dig deep enough and start paying attention to even the most minute details that you may think are not important, they usually tend to make a huge difference.
There are always gonna be roadblocks you will have to overcome no matter what and we've all gone thru this far more often than we'd like to admit to and trust me, I've gone thru some of what you've mentioned myself, but feeling an emotional connection to the instrument plus being determined to master it made find a way to learn it and not give a crap what anyone thought and practiced and worked things out in any place I could, be it at a beach, in the subways, the bathroom, whatever, because I wanted to do so and didn't give a crap and that's the mentality you need to use and drive yourself with.
A big part of the problem with harp players getting no respect is, unfortunately, the blame squarely belongs on the harp players shoulders because too often, the musicianship of many harp players is often sorely lacking, and when I'm talking about musicianship, it goes FAR BEYOND the soloing ability of a player and this is a huge fault among many harp players because too often they think of soloing as the only signs of good musicianship and forget things like getting their time straight, learning very basic theory, learning when to play as well as when NOT to play, and equally important, good listening skills.
It never comes overnight and it takes time and plenty of drive and diligence to hone your craft. Getting knocked down is part of the deal when it comes to mastering anything in life. ---------- Sincerely, Barbeque Bob Maglinte Boston, MA http://www.barbequebob.com CD available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/bbmaglinte
I kept my playing a secret for a year before I unveiled my harp playing to the world. I was 17 and living at home too. Neither of my parents knew what I was up to - guess they probably thought a lot worse was going on behind that closed bedroom door! I remember playing ever so softly with the record player up just a little bit louder than normal.
Nowadays I don't get to play much at home because of my young kids - If I get to play it's the early hours when the whole house is asleep. 25 years later and it's still just me, playing ever so softly with all the doors shut! That's why I love my rehearsal nights and gigs. I get to let rip; I can play whatever as loud as I want!
Take your playing out of the bedroom! If you're an intermediate you need to be playing with other people - you'll make some big leaps just doing that. Get along to some jams, get yourself in a band.
Above all you'll be playing to people who've been there themselves and understand. You'll be playing to a crowd who want to hear bluesharp.
Last Edited by on Mar 19, 2012 10:44 AM
Last Edited by on Mar 19, 2012 4:23 AM