Q. what's the diffence between a frog and a harp player? A. the frog can probably read music. A. people like frogs. A. frogs aren't on foodstamps. A. frog's got gigs. A. people run over frogs by accident.
whoa! i can read and and have been gigging since marine bands came in cardboard boxes. are most people on this site so uptight that a joke at their expense becomes a debate forum? that tone fiasco is evidence to support my suspicions. lighten up. you guys take yourselves WAY too seriously. most blues harp players-sorry to inform you- can't read a lick. most don't have gigs. this is the blues harp forum, or am i mistaken and have somehow wound up on a FOX news blog.
Last Edited by on Feb 27, 2010 12:37 PM
HAH! good one MJ! this is what i meant to happen when i started this topic! congaron, the tone discussion i'm refering to is super long-you can't miss it- and was mostly about TB vs LP. i couldn't take it seriously so i only wrote nonsense, but some guys were getting kinda wierd i thought.
Q: How many harp players does it take to change a light bulb? A: One to change the bulb and a dozen to discuss whether to do it TB or LP. ---------- Ozark Rich
I was just saying I read music to put emphasis on the other ones. It's like saying, 'Your momma is a fat, has a lazy eye, and smells like rotten cabbage.' and getting a response of 'my mom doesn't have a lazy eye.'
Why do dogs howl when harmonica players play? They're trying to tell them how the song goes.
What do you call a harmonica player's accompanist? Fido.
What do the best harmonica players have in common? They all suck.
What do you call a harmonica player who doesn't step all over the singer's lines? Deceased.
What do you say at the end of a great harmonica solo? "Thank God."
How many harmonica players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Five. One to screw it in and four to determine if it should be in straight or cross position.
What do you call a harmonica player who says he knows what notes he's playing? A liar.
Why do harmonica players say they play a "harp"? 1. So you won't think they play a harmonica. 2. "Harmonica" is a four-syllable word.
Which is better: electric guitar or harmonica? Electric guitar. You can't beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica.
What do you call a harmonica player in a brand new suit? Dearly departed.
What do you call a groupie who hangs around and annoys musicians? A harmonica player.
If you threw a guitar player and a harmonica player off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? The guitar player. The harp would have to stop halfway down to ask what key they're in.
A blues musician dies and goes to heaven. He is told "Hey man, welcome! You have been elected to the Blues All-Stars of Heaven--right up there with Muddy and the Wolf and Freddy King, all the greats. We have a gig tonight. Only one problem--God gets to play harmonica."
What does a harp player do in his life's most tender moments? He puts his reverb on "slow".
Why were vintage guitar amplifiers invented? So the harp player would have a place to put his beer.
A guitar player says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my guitar." His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!" ---------- Ozark Rich
what did the blues harp player say when he was asked why he keeps leaving the bandstand? 'I HATE IT WHEN THE BAND STOPS PLAYING SONGS THAT GO, DUNT DA DUNT DA DUNT DA DUNT DA!'
What happens when you play a blues record backwards?You are released from prison,your wife comes back to you and your dog comes back to life.Not a harp joke but I had to throw something into the mix.
these are all great, but gotta say my favorite is mark twains definition of of a gentleman by MJ. 'a man that can play harmonica and don't.' i'm positive my dog wishes i were a gentleman. she's my worst critic. my biggest fan is a table top vornado.
How many harmonica players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and the other to drink until the room spins.
BTW: I love the second violin video. I don't hear anything wrong with the first one, either. I think that girl is every bit as good as Jack Benny.
Last Edited by on Feb 28, 2010 11:12 AM
Sociologists followed a bunch of musicians around and carefully documented what each one said during the course of a typical day. At the end, they tallied up the data came up with a list of the three things each type of musician where most likely to say.
Lead Singers- Yeah, I'm in a band. If you come up to my place I can play you our CD. I wrote this song for a very special lady.
Rhythm Guitarist- I could play the lead, but I don't have ego problems. I'm starting a side project, it's going to by great. I write most of it. The other guys don't know theory.
Bassist- Dude, I am so waisted right now. I can't hear the drums. Turn me up, I can't hear myself.
Lead Guitar- So, I was like totally shredding this awesome lick... Show me some boobies. That chick totally wants me.
Drummer- I want to blow something up. This song totally needs a drum solo. I did not speed up.
Beat Boxer- Bow chicka wow wow. Yo, Peace out. Yo, yo, (to the drummer), no, the beat goes like this.
Harmonica Player- May I take your order? Would you like fries with that? What key are we in?
How many harmonica players does it take to change a light bulb? Five--one to screw the bulb in and four to stand around and talk about how Little Walter must have done it.