Elwood
30 posts
Apr 24, 2009
12:23 AM
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... that you might enjoy reading as a few of the other posts get on with serious matters of who conspired to get whom kicked off the forum, etc etc.
Q. Which is more popular among bar audiences: electric guitar or harmonica?
A. Electric guitar. You can't beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica.
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Zhin
241 posts
Apr 24, 2009
1:09 AM
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Q. How do you know when a harmonica player is at your door?
A. When he yells at you for the KEY and doesn't know when to come in.
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Q. When a guitar player and harmonica player fall off a cliff who hits the ground first?
A. The guitar player. The harp player will probably stop halfway to ask for the KEY again.
==
Q. How many harp players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just 1... and a group arguing how Little Walter would do it.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
Last Edited by on Apr 24, 2009 1:09 AM
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TheBlackNote
8 posts
Apr 24, 2009
7:56 AM
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Epic Jokes lol.
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Andrew
237 posts
Apr 24, 2009
8:32 AM
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"You can't beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica"
No, but you can make him wish he'd rounded off those corners!
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RyanMortos
152 posts
Apr 24, 2009
8:38 AM
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Know what I heard...
When Mozart died he started to DECOMPOSE!
Bum bum ching
Okay, sorry...
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~Ryan
PA
Ryan's Tube - Containing [0] uploads and counting...
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jonsparrow
159 posts
Apr 24, 2009
10:14 AM
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lol these are some good ones. never heard music jokes let alone harp jokes.
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jonsparrow
160 posts
Apr 24, 2009
10:29 AM
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Q. How do you know when a harmonica player is at your door?
A. When he yells at you for the KEY and doesn't know when to come in
i realy like this one.
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shaneboylan
99 posts
Apr 24, 2009
1:33 PM
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-How many harmonica players does it take to change a lightbulb?
-Never mind the changes man - just friggin' blow!
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DutchBones
150 posts
Apr 24, 2009
10:24 PM
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Of course you all know that harmonica players are popular with the ladies, right?
The Band is playing and there is this beautiful woman sitting at the bar..
The Guitar player: "You see that beautiful lady at the bar? The mink coat she's wearing, she got that from me!"
The drummer: "See that diamond ring at her finger? She got that from me!"
The harp player: "See those bags under her eyes and that tired look? She got that from me"
(no tongue block jokes please)
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DutchBones Tube
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wheezer
68 posts
Apr 25, 2009
4:36 AM
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Guitarist scale; Doh Rae me me me me me me me ..........
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Elwood
36 posts
Apr 25, 2009
7:21 AM
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Wheezer, that's hilarious.
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Tuckster
183 posts
Apr 25, 2009
7:30 AM
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Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girl friend?
A: Homeless
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Pullis
9 posts
Apr 25, 2009
8:34 AM
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Play a man some harp and he'll smile for a day. Teach a man how to play harp and he'll buy an ugly hat.
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Elwood
39 posts
Apr 25, 2009
9:09 AM
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Another corker. Thanks, Pullis.
I sometimes wonder if I could just be happy not playing harmonica and just joking around about people who do...
... Probably not.
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snakes
194 posts
Apr 25, 2009
7:38 PM
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Q. What do you call a harmonica player in a brand new suit?
A. Dearly departed.
Q. How Many Harmonic Players Does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Don't worry about the changes man, Just blow!
Last Edited by on Apr 25, 2009 7:39 PM
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Andrew
245 posts
Apr 26, 2009
10:12 AM
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Of course if you Google "harmonica jokes" you get about 500 hits. Here's the first one:
http://www.jt30.com/jt30page/oldsite/jokes.html
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kudzurunner
383 posts
Apr 26, 2009
12:29 PM
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Not that these are relevant, but "oboist jokes" brought up some funny ones:
Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
A: Because most oboes are full of holes.
Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?
A: Steal his batteries.
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kudzurunner
384 posts
Apr 26, 2009
12:31 PM
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I remember during my time in the pit band of "Big River" that some instruments get no respect. Most of the jokes back then revolved around trombonists--bone players--and them needing to keep their day jobs.
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Oisin
218 posts
Apr 26, 2009
12:33 PM
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What did the doctor say to the harp player who entered his surgery wearing only cellophane?
"I can clearly see your nuts"
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Andrew
248 posts
Apr 26, 2009
2:37 PM
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"Most of the jokes back then revolved around trombonists"
Reminds me of the angriest thread we ever had on our intranet forum at work. I had been listening to Buck Jump by the Dirty Dozen Brass Band and I was reminded of how I didn't like the trombone playing on some of the later Captain Beefheart stuff, so I posted: "Some people think the trombone is a musical instrument, but I don't think the trombone will ever be a musical instrument". It was only a throwaway, but all hell was let loose for most of the week!
Last Edited by on Apr 26, 2009 2:41 PM
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kudzurunner
385 posts
Apr 26, 2009
7:33 PM
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Q: What do you call a harmonica player without a girlfriend?
A: In the woodshed.
Q: What do his friends call a harmonica player with a girlfriend?
A: It won't last.
Q: What's the difference between a harmonica player and a sperm whale?
A: The harmonica player knows how to work both the blow hole and the draw hole.
Last Edited by on Apr 26, 2009 7:38 PM
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DutchBones
153 posts
Apr 26, 2009
9:51 PM
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Q: What's the difference between a harmonica player and a sperm whale?
A: The harmonica players run out of air .
B: Sperm whales are more popular.
C: A sperm whale doesn't have a gig bag.
D: I don't know, does that mean I can't go to the open jam tonight?
E: Sperm whales can't wail.
F: Sperm whales are more "in tune" with their surroundings.
Q: What's the difference between a GOOD harmonica player and a sperm whale?
A: A sperm whale is easier to find.....
Sorry Adam, couldn't pass this one up ....
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DutchBones Tube
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Blown Out Reed
91 posts
Mar 30, 2010
4:04 PM
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One Day the Harmonica Player hid one of the drummers sticks. The drummer said, "Finally! After all these years, I'm a conductor!"
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Last Edited by on Mar 30, 2010 9:24 PM
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OzarkRich
166 posts
Mar 30, 2010
6:07 PM
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For those who may have missed these:
Jokes
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Ozark Rich
YouTube: OzarkRich
Facebook: php?ref=profile&id=100000279894342
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oldwailer
1162 posts
Mar 30, 2010
6:43 PM
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You're driving like a bat out of hell across Texas at night (because who wants to SEE Texas?) and in your lights you suddenly see an armadillo and a harmonica player dead ahead in the road. You have to hit one or the other--there is no way around it. Which one do you hit?
The harp player--the armadillo might have a gig. . .
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walterharp
285 posts
Mar 30, 2010
6:48 PM
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Q. How many MBH forum members does it take to play a harmonica solo?
A. 50, 1 to play, and 49 to argue if it would sound better lip pursed or tongue blocked
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Nastyolddog
499 posts
Mar 31, 2010
5:48 AM
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Q. How many MBH forum members does it take to play a harmonica solo?
A. 50, 1 to play,48 to argue if it would sound better lip pursed or tongue blocked and,
1 to argue it would sound better Sphincter blocked:)
Q What do you do with a out of tune Harmonica
A Play Jazz no one will know:)
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Bluzdude46
558 posts
Mar 31, 2010
2:02 PM
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Ok for those who want to pick on the othewr players in a band:
Q. How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
A. Put sheet music in front of him
Q. Who besides groupies like to hang out with Musicians?
A. Drummers
Q. What do you do with a really bad guitar player?
A. Hand him a Bass
And the best response to a pretty girl who comes up to you between sets and says "I really loved your Playing"!! Smile and say "I'm glad you enjoyed it, it's the SECOND best thing I do with my mouth"
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The Original Downtown Philadelphia Fatman... Accept No substitutes!
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Bluefinger
154 posts
Apr 01, 2010
2:36 AM
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**********
Q. Which is more popular among bar audiences: electric guitar or harmonica?
A. Electric guitar. You can't beat a harmonica player to death with a harmonica.
**********
no, but it's easier to shove it up his ... never mind ...
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If it ain't broke you just haven't fixed it enough ...
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OzarkRich
170 posts
Apr 01, 2010
8:58 AM
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Speaking of humorous harmonica beatings...
Harmonica Attack
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Ozark Rich
Ozark Rich's YouTube
Ozark Rich's Facebook
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Old Dog
18 posts
Apr 01, 2010
9:05 AM
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I'll bet they were arguing about "Lip Blocking vs Tongue Blocking"!
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I used to be young and foolish. Now I'm not so young.
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