SuperBee
3684 posts
May 02, 2016
6:21 AM
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I am up late, keeping watch over my dying father...and you know..,if you have been there...you can cope in different ways...right now I'm up for a chat...dad isn't much at conversation and my sister has gone home to bed...I maybe should go too...but I dunno...I don't like the thought of the old bloke here 'alone' even if he does have the company of strangers and no need for company anyway...
It's a bluesy situation.
He was born in 1922. His twin brother was dead virtually at birth, and dad weighed only 2 pounds. The doctor told my grandmother dad would not survive the night, and filled out the death certificate to save himself another trip.
Here I am, nearly 94 years later, at the other end of that trip, watching him finally check out. He's seen a lot of change during his lifetime, raised 6 children, he worked in a sawmill, lost the top of his thumb in a saw, worked as a builder's labourer, worked as a telegram boy, learned morse, got caught up in the ham radio craze in the 40s and gained a qualification as a radio tech, saw the advent of television and became qualified as a repairman...when I was 5 years old he started taking me out on house calls to hold the torch and pass the tools as he worked on TV sets for rural customers. We lived on the NW corner of Tasmania, and television antennas rivalled the Eiffel Tower for height...so it seemed to a 5 year old...he used to install and rig these huge antennas...I remember him pointing out the Sputnik as it flew overhead one night, we were walking out on a gravel road after mending a set.
he worked with high voltage. I remember him shorting out a big cap one night. It was like a firework went off in the living room. tubes were everywhere in dad's space, and that was the space I inhabited until I was about 12 years old. He introduced me to radio, but he wasn't keen I get around the high voltage...he taught me to respect it but also not to fear it. I remember him explaining the difference between electrical appliances and electronic appliances. He taught me a bunch about electronics but I didn't absorb much because he was crap at letting me do the practical work on my own. Still, I wasn't intimidated by it, I was always prepared to wield a soldering iron.
He only went to school until grade 8, but he could do logarithmic calcs in his head. His memory was incredible but Alzheimers destroyed it nonetheless. I remember a few years ago he approached me and introduced himself, then told me I seemed familiar and wondered if I was one of the Ennis boys. Of course I instantly told him I was his son, then wished there'd been something else I could have said when I saw how confronting it was for him.
When he retired, he bought a metal lathe and built himself a wood lathe...took up woodturning...but he couldn't do it as a hobby, he couldn't help himself, had to turn it into a business.
Despite that, he didn't know how to value his work. He always worked too cheap. He said 'enough money is plenty'
I guess I can't help it...either it's in the DNA, or the old bastard just brainwashed me...
When I'm at work, mending harps or building amps, that's when I see the old man...in the way I move, the way I think, the expression on my dial...that's when I feel like I'm in his head, or he is in mine. It's hard to explain to my mum, when I visit her, I go down to dads shop and do some work...that's how I visit him too. He's not there, but it feels like he is when I work there...it feels like he is me.
I'm in the room they've moved him into so he can die. Ever increasing morphine dose.
I can't play a harp here, and I can't even take a shot. I'd probably do both if I could. I hope you'll forgive me for this small eulogy for the old man.
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Truth2012
43 posts
May 02, 2016
6:52 AM
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No forgiveness needed.
Sounds like your Father was a great guy.
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Fil
136 posts
May 02, 2016
9:02 AM
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it's a gift, to have him in your head like he is and will be. Sounds like he brought you up right.
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Phil Pennington
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2chops
516 posts
May 02, 2016
1:13 PM
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Hey Bee…No need for the apology and request for forgiveness. Obviously your dad meant a lot to you. And apparently the apple didn’t fall far from the tree as it were. I can see where you got the tinkerers touch/itch from. Sounds like your dad was a good man. All the best in this time of difficulty for you and your family.
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I'm workin on it. I'm workin on it.
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MindTheGap
1560 posts
May 02, 2016
1:26 PM
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Best wishes during this difficult time. Sounds like you have good thoughts and memories there.
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Tiggertoo1962
107 posts
May 02, 2016
2:25 PM
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Wishing you strength too, Bee. It's not too long ago I lost both my parents within 1/2 a year of each other, so I can strongly identify with some of what you're going through.
Kind of destroyed me that I couldn't be there at the end, since I've been living in Germany for the last 23 years, but some things just have to be accepted and dealt with.
It helps a lot if you're capable of rationalising and realising the fact that losing your parents is the natural order of things... it sure is better than the other way round.
All the best
Fin
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One of the last of a dying breed.
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Harmlessonica
236 posts
May 02, 2016
3:45 PM
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My thoughts and heartfelt wishes for you and your family, Bee.
Sounds like your father's legacy will live on for a long time to come.
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SuperBee
3685 posts
May 03, 2016
5:18 AM
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Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts.
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Killa_Hertz
1268 posts
May 03, 2016
6:11 AM
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Sorry About your Dad Bee.
No wonder you do what you do. Sounds like your a spitting image. Building amps, messing with Tubes, Repair work. Thats really cool.
As much as your current situation sucks, Im envious of you. I wish my father taught me things like that. Passed on his skills. I dont even know where he is. Havent seen him in decades. And Im only 31. I taught myself everything. Learned the hard way.
Sounds like your Pop is a Good Man. Thats something to be really proud of. Not alot of people have that these days. But I'm Sorry you have to go through that. Alzheimer's is tough to see anyone go through. Let alone your father.
My Condolences to you and your family.
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Last Edited by Killa_Hertz on May 03, 2016 5:31 PM
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ME.HarpDoc
145 posts
May 03, 2016
4:55 PM
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Bee. It's great that you had those experiences with your dad. My father died when I was 20 at age 64. I'm 68 now but still have memories our time together. He was always trying new things and enjoying the experience. So do I, like taking up harp at age 66. The connections go on. Best wishes
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SuperBee
3696 posts
May 06, 2016
6:39 AM
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Thank you all once again. Dad passed on about 12 hours ago, after 7 days unable to eat or drink. It seemed a little weirdly OT to write about it here, but this forum has become a part of my life over the past few years and it was hard to maintain the separation at the time...thanks again, you all did help me through.
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timeistight
1997 posts
May 06, 2016
7:06 AM
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Sorry for your loss, Bee.
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Killa_Hertz
1295 posts
May 06, 2016
9:18 AM
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Sorry for your loss Bee.
That's why I like the beginner forum. I feel like you can post whatever you want in here. I'd like to think we're pretty tight after all this time.
Im glad you felt you could share such a thing.
Again, My condolences.
"Playing the Blues Just Soothes My Soul."
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MindTheGap
1578 posts
May 06, 2016
3:23 PM
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My condolences also.
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Glass Harp Full
132 posts
May 06, 2016
5:55 PM
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My condolences to you and your family.
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2chops
520 posts
May 07, 2016
5:06 AM
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Condolences Bee. Been where you're at right now. All the best.
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I'm workin on it. I'm workin on it.
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HotMetal
16 posts
May 07, 2016
1:16 PM
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Sorry for your loss.
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