Zhin
550 posts
Dec 17, 2010
8:02 AM
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I spoke with him the night before his passing.
The first thing he expressed to me was about how MBH forum is "attacking" him again over some stuff he posted about Astrology.
Between me and him he spoke like he really didn't understand why some of you over-reacted to his posts on astrology. He even said to me he was being genuinely nice and just wanted to put something interesting and useful up. Especially after not posting much for a while.
He went on to say that he hasn't posted much at all and when he did all he did was get attacked. That was the feeling he had.
Just to be clear, he sounded a little sad but not really angry. So he didn't go hating on some you people or anything like that.
I don't care if he was right or wrong. That argument is over now. All I want to do is share his EXACT thoughts on MBH before he left and you guys make what you want with it.
The irony is that I told him he should just quit the forum like me. Now I am back here telling you guys about it. This is so wrong and fucked up.
I hope that some of us will ponder a little more about how we treat other people even if we don't agree or like them. People who "care" are precious. Life is precious. I believe we all should be more kind to each other.
I believe I should be kinder too.
I haven't stopped crying since I found out. He was like a father to me and even told me I was like a son. I will miss him greatly.
His loss will be a huge gaping hole in the harmonica community and world. The last project he spoke about a few months ago was doing a full on Santana latin-blues-rock album. That would have been something.
Rest in peace Chris.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
Last Edited by on Dec 17, 2010 8:06 AM
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Buzadero
666 posts
Dec 17, 2010
8:08 AM
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Zhin.
Nice to hear from you, little bro.
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~Buzadero
Underwater Janitor, Patriot
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Zhin
552 posts
Dec 17, 2010
8:14 AM
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Hey Buz, it's been a shitty day.
Nice to hear from you though. Get skype already sheesh.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
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scojo
165 posts
Dec 17, 2010
8:47 AM
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Very well put Zhin. Amen.
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captainbliss
330 posts
Dec 17, 2010
9:00 AM
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@Zhin:
/I hope that some of us will ponder a little more about how we treat other people even if we don't agree or like them. People who "care" are precious. Life is precious. I believe we all should be more kind to each other./
I couldn't agree more.
xxx
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DutchBones
423 posts
Dec 17, 2010
2:40 PM
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Well said Zhin.. and good to hear from you... hang in there guy
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DutchBones Tube
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Tin Lizzie
170 posts
Dec 17, 2010
2:46 PM
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He wrote to ma in that same vein, Zhin. I think he was hurt.
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Tin Lizzie
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Greg Heumann
947 posts
Dec 17, 2010
7:49 PM
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Zhin we can ALL be kinder. Nice words from you.
I cannot help but wonder if whatever killed Chris had to do with his online temperament. I found his on-line communication reeking of insecurity, inflated ego and insensitivity. But I met him a few times personally and found just the opposite. He was gentle, sincere, sensitive and honest. Very strange dichotomy for sure that I cannot explain. In any case I admired his mastery of the harmonica and I will miss him.
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/Greg
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kudzurunner
2134 posts
Dec 18, 2010
1:41 AM
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Thanks, Zhin. I've made a point of asking people here--especially in recent weeks--to try and be a little kinder. Chris, as Greg quite rightly notes, was a paradox where kindness is concerned. I never met him, merely spoke to him on the phone from time to time, and he was unfailingly friendly and funny in that context. I know how generous he was to you and many others. I also know how much trouble he periodically caused on this forum. Chris could be a bully. He trained attack dogs for a living and, as one would expect of somebody with that talent, worked hard to convince the pack--this pack, in some cases--that he was the dominant predator and pack leader. The phrase STFU helped him enforce this role, as did his habit of bragging (five or six times, at my count) of how the one time he shared the stage with Jason Ricci, he'd played with such power and glory that Jason had fled the stage in tears.
Still, for all that, I greatly admired Chris and knew how valuable a presence he was here. I admired and valued his presence so much, in fact, that I flirted constantly with a double standard: allowing him to behave here in ways that would have led me to boot anybody else. (I can't tell you how many people, over the past several years, emailed me privately to demand that I ban him. I defended him every single time, and did not ban him--although I did email him once, pleading for help on his end, and he responded well that time.)
When the double standard and accumulated violations finally became insupportable, as they did a couple of days ago, I booted him off the forum. And yes: I was pissed off. I hate being put in double binds; most people do. But I continued to respect him, even as I felt compelled to administer justice, and I was as shocked as the rest of this forum when I learned of his passing. I was looking forward to meeting him some day and clearing a whole lot of stupid forum bullshit out of the way. I was also looking forward to buying him a drink, thanking him for his contributions to the conversation here--difficult a mofo as he could be--and, most of all, hearing him play in person. I'll have to be satisfied with his recordings now, and that ain't enough.
Last Edited by on Dec 18, 2010 1:41 AM
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Rev. Jim
46 posts
Dec 18, 2010
2:14 AM
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To make matters worse, Captain Beefheart also died today. This has been one fucked up 2 days.
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captainbliss
332 posts
Dec 18, 2010
5:24 AM
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@Greg Heumann, @kudzurunner:
I humbly and respectfully submit that, in remembering a extraordinarily memorable and clearly much loved fellow board member, we implement Zhin's call for kindness by sharing only our most positive recollections.
@Rev. Jim
The South London folk scene lost a big character, too.
xxx
EDIT: @kudzurunner, @moderators: feel free to erase this whenever you like. More friction is the last thing I want...
Last Edited by on Dec 18, 2010 5:32 AM
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Moon Cat
1 post
Dec 18, 2010
5:37 AM
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Yo Zhin, How are you? I am very cautious this time around posting anything here,face book or anywhere. As has been said Chris was differant in person then on the forum. As a "known" performer people already often think they "know" you from music,interviews, online conversations but in reality they don't really "know" you at all. People frequently and often ritiously present a limited or expanded version of themselves when typing from home to the masses. I was recently very, very hurt by numerous postings, speculations, personal truths revealed and out right lies by many people on many differant online forums/communities. Word of mouth is almnost just as bad (Remeber the telephone,circle game?). I had to pull back, not just from the internet but from all kinds of people with interests and motives that had little or nothing to do with playing music. Chris was a crazy dude, and I did love him. This year him and I had some differances and he wrote me a letter (which I will never publish) explaining some personal issues he had and why/how that lent intself to some of his online behaviors and anttics. Without getting too revealing (which is the online idea from now on) let me only say Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. Chris was a generous, giving, underated, caring, loving, lying, devious, instigating, intelligent, difficult, complicated, fun, nurturing, silly, egomaniac with an inferiority complex and I thought of him more than once tonight onstage and sent solos his way as offerings, mournings, cries of joy and odes to his living life. I'm tired of bullshit thats the main reason I checked out of every scene for 7 months. I needed a rest I WAS very sick with Pnemounia, a hole in my lung, and an abcess. The rumors were exageratted as all things are both good and bad. I'm a human being and I love harmonica and any form of its discussion online or other wise but the amount of respect paid to the human part online and behind our backs seems to always or more than partially forgoten. I'm not here to say anything about Adam's forum, or any other only that treading softly or with empathy,sympathy, or just plain manners is a good thing to do and Chris was great at in real life online some of us change a bit. I knew him for eleven years, I hired him, paid him, showcased him, promoted him, talked to him about the most personal subjects, argued with him, agreed with him and all that shit in real life for those eleven years I think I probably emailed that Mutha like three times. Hew was a good kid, he died way too young and it hasn't hit me yet. Dig?
Sincerely
Jason Ricci
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captainbliss
334 posts
Dec 18, 2010
6:02 AM
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@Moon Cat:
/treading softly or with empathy,sympathy, or just plain manners is a good thing to do/
I couldn't agree more.
/I WAS very sick/
Hope you've made / are making a full recovery.
xxx
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hermonica
14 posts
Dec 18, 2010
6:57 AM
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what is your meaning when you say you want to share exact thoughts?? what is your real meaning? i read your post several times
chris was oft singled out and challenged because he was the alpha male much like in the world of the canines he trained. jelousy goes a long way and many people did not like chris honesty.
this forum attacked chris michalek many times especially the last event. i cant help but wonder if it really is a coincedence this community meant a lot to him he had not posted in a while and when he tried to reach out he was attacked for very little reason and then banned and insulted by kudzu [telling him to get off this forum and reanimate his own moribund one]
i hope we did not contrinbute
mbh was not there for chris in his last moments >
im sorry chris, i hope ur in a better place.
i almost didnt post this msg but i had to be very honest in memory of CM.
i quit this forum.
i will not be reading.
Last Edited by on Dec 18, 2010 6:59 AM
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pharpo
472 posts
Dec 18, 2010
7:21 AM
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I will miss Chris.....Although I never met him...When I first began to post here I did not understand his sense of humor...I took it the wrong way ...and judged him wrongly. After a few weeks I "got it". My interactions with him taught me a lesson that some of us have yet to learn. It is very hard (impossible) to really judge someone by reading a few typed words on a forum.....
@ Moon Cat - welcome back
@ hermonica - see ya
Rest In Peace Chris.....
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Procrastinator Emeritus
Last Edited by on Dec 18, 2010 7:22 AM
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jbone
453 posts
Dec 18, 2010
7:25 AM
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right up front i must say chris was a much more accomplished player than i am. i really admired what he could do with a harp. i must also say that when we lose basic civility, esp in a forum where we may never meet our peers, the result is usually that any good we create is undermined by peoples' reaction to our lack of that civility. this and other forums are the only place we meet. the impressions we give are sometimes- or often- the only picture we can draw of a person.
i've said it before and here it is again- my goal in visiting this forum is to learn and to give back what i know to anyone who may benefit from it. whether i like you or you like me is irrelevant. my hope is that at very least i don't come off as superior or imperious. we all put our pants on the same way, and if we don't the result is the same. our finest garment is our civility to each other.
i stayed out of the uproar around buddha. imho diving in with the intention of fixing a situation often just leads to more fuel for the fire. i wish no ill on anyone here, chris included. it is events like this though, that can show us how- and why- to try and be kinder and more empathetic to one another.
i send my condolences to chis' family. he is already past all this.
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saregapadanisa
306 posts
Dec 18, 2010
7:31 AM
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Hermonica, specially in these sad moments, you're a disgrace.
That's the meanest post I've ever read here, or anywhere for that matter.
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Littoral
221 posts
Dec 18, 2010
7:39 AM
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Alpha male attitude is right and I enjoyed it, mostly. It's an internet forum about harmonica so I'm amazed at how people can take it so personally -Adam excepted because he's the one with an investment and tries to keep it civil. Chris flaunted that, the astrology thread on the heals of the karma thread a prime example. Still, I enjoyed the astrology thread, posted as much, and couldn't get why that was the last straw for Chris on MBH. That said, I do know Adam has been really patient.
All in all I am just trying to learn what I can from this.
Last Edited by on Dec 18, 2010 7:42 AM
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hvyj
948 posts
Dec 18, 2010
8:04 AM
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Yeah, the astrology thread seemed to be innocuous enough. Maybe a little long and tedious, but tedious posts never got anyone else banned around here. The karma thread was started by someone else who did not get banned, either. Go figure....
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Zhin
556 posts
Dec 18, 2010
8:36 AM
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Jason, it is very kind of you to come out and talk a little.
I'm devastated. I been crying on and off non stop.
I suspect I knew him ALMOST as well as you do but probably not seeing the complete picture. I agree with you on every word you have used to list what he is though and in addition to that I would like to add cheeky and child-like. Though ultimately I know he acted with genuine compassion and just wanted people to like him.
He was a good person. That's all I needed to know to believe in him. Yes, he was crazy too. And has admitted it to me a few times. I accept him fully for who he is.
Growing up as a half Vietnamese kid in the 80's was very rough on him. I think it definitely had a severe impact on his character.
Ultimately he did push me to be a better person and musician.
I think you know exactly what I'm going through Jason. Chris mentored and treated me like I was one of his "kids". It feels so cold and empty knowing I will never hear his geeky and piercing voice in person for the rest of this life.
He was my crazy ass Sensei. Powerful, mad, and endearing like Yoda. He gave me an experience that made me feel like a Youngling initiate training to become a great Jedi.
Good to hear from you man.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
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Barry C.
87 posts
Dec 18, 2010
9:29 AM
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So well stated JR - we can all learn to throw a lot more love around - sometimes life kicks you smack in the teeth but it would be nice to learn lessons without needing a tragedy to remind us of basic human kindness too often forgotten!
If we are 'brothers' (and sisters) in harmonica, let's be that in life too!
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~Banned in Boston!
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Ryan
398 posts
Dec 18, 2010
4:46 PM
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hvjy, I don't understand why you're still harping on this banning thing. It's over and done with, and at this point it seems really irrelevent and unimportant. We know your feeling on the subject, you've made multiple posts on multiple threads. It wasn't the posting of the astrology thread that resulted in the banning, it was the (empty)threat made towards another member, and some disrespectful interactions with a moderator(both of these seem to be clear enough violations of the forum). This combined with some past problems is what resulted in the unfortunate banning. While I think this is a topic that's pretty unimportant right now, and something we should all just move past, I also don't feel comfortable not saying something while the few people who feel the need to keep harping on this are saying things that simply aren't true (ie. the banning was random and arbitrary, and it was based solely on the posting of an astrology thread). Chris made a lot of great contributions to this forum, and I feel lucky to have learned from him.
As others have said, my heart goes out to Chris's family. Chris brought so much to the harmonica community (and I'm sure he would have had many more great things to share with us), he will most certainly be missed. He left too early, but in his short life he accomplished things that won't be forgotten. He accomplished more than many people who live long lives could hope to accomplish.
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Zhin
558 posts
Dec 19, 2010
6:34 AM
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Personally I think talking about Jason like that was mean of Chris. He was a meany in many ways. I'll admit it right now. He's made me cry SO MANY times. And it's because I allow him to hurt me since I am receptive to him. It actually forced me to distance myself from him several times.
But man has it also made me a much much much better player.
So really it's not like I don't get why some of you are already flaming me as if I'm so naive. On the contrary, I am far from that.
You people have no idea how often I tease and dismiss his often really over-the-top meta, philosophical, and spiritual concepts. And I don't always agree with him on harp stuff. I've even told him I think I got a better vibrato than him and never took vibrato lessons from him.
I put up with his shit because at the end of the day I saw him as ONLY HUMAN. And he always stuck to his word. His personality was worth the trouble at least to me because a person can't get more "real" than that. As Jay Gaunt has put it "he's the realest person ever".
Some of you may ask what's the point of this thread. Well my point is simple. You take the info I gave you about what Chris experienced before dying and you make what you want with it.
And I'll spell it out for those -some- of you who still don't get it. Look, it's really simple. How would you treat someone if you knew they were going to die the next 3 hours? And furthermore, would you really want to be part of any negative experience they may experience before departing this world. Is that really fair to ANY human being? My point is simple. We can die anytime. And nobody wants to die hating or being hated. The forum didn't kill him but I just think it's a big fucking shame that everyone was being unpleasant and abusive to each other during his last moments.
And Mr Gussow, I know you allowed him to get away with a lot. I totally saw it and he knew it too. It made him feel special and I believe that meant something to him. He's always particular about being treated as the "great" person he deserves to be. After all, I think most of us can agree he was terribly under-rated as a musician and at least when he comes on to the forum he can feel a little special. I know it's kinda childish and petty but that is what respect meant to him. Thank you. Really, really, thank you Adam. It was very nice of you.
You know, Chris has scolded me for being selfish when I quit MBH. He said that it's not fair to people when I do have knowledge to share. Can you believe that?
So to honor his memory I'm back. Knowing that there are -some- people who are mourning and crying over this great loss means a great deal to me. I don't think anyone outside of the harmonica world will ever understand how much he meant. It's like a family here and I am happy to mourn with family.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
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Zhin
559 posts
Dec 19, 2010
6:56 AM
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BTW, lets not sugarcoat what we say of him but keep it down to a respectable level.
Chris wouldn't like it if he knew we started sugarcoating his image.
From his own mouth, "as long as it's not poisonous I'm cool with it". Calling him names and dismissing him as nothing more but a bad person is poisonous. If you don't give a shit about him kindly STFU and go find a different place to grief others.
For those who cared or are affected, lets just pay tribute. To honor and remember him. Every member of this harmonica family deserves that when it's their time damnit.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
Last Edited by on Dec 19, 2010 6:59 AM
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Diggsblues
646 posts
Dec 19, 2010
7:02 AM
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Zhin Chris will live in your heart and your playing
forever. The loss is heart breaking. Chris was so giving and appreciative of people. He told me once
if there is anything I can do for you just ask.
I'm calling in the marker now. Chris when I pass you'd better be there to greet me.
I can tell you if you dream of Chris it's not just a dream.
I was one of Chris's metaphysical friends as well as
a harmonica buddy.
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Emile "Diggs" D'Amico a Legend In His Own Mind
How you doin'
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Zhin
560 posts
Dec 19, 2010
7:29 AM
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Diggs, I'm also one of his meta friends. The one who reads energy levels off people. It's easy for me to feel comfortable with people because of that and also easy for me to know who I should be guarded around.
I rarely dream in my sleep. So if I see him in my dreams rest assured I would probably freak out a little to know it was him. I'd probably ask him to stay the fuck out of my bathroom and bedroom if possible. haha
The last 2 things he ever said to me was on Facebook.
"For you my friend anything."
and I said "you're awesome Chris, thank you."
and the last sentence I ever heard from him after that was "ok, don't be a homo. :)"
I miss him.
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
Last Edited by on Dec 19, 2010 7:31 AM
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kudzurunner
2137 posts
Dec 19, 2010
7:49 AM
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@Zhin: Thanks for those soulful posts. I think YOU are showing sides of yourself to US that you weren't showing a year or two ago, and that's a nice thing. Your words above help humanize Chris. I'll stress that in the very occasional phone call I had with him, we always got along well. I wish I'd met him in person. It's really a tragedy that he never got to bask in the sunshine that his talent should have earned him on the big world stages. It would be good if, somewhere down the line, MBH folks and others were able to assemble some "outtakes" or not-yet-issued recordings of his and leave them as a legacy.
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Zhin
563 posts
Dec 19, 2010
8:09 AM
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Thanks Adam.
He has indeed mentioned to me that he's had some great and fun conversations with you on the phone.
You would find out very quickly how much of a softy he really is in person. He's actually a very sweet human being face to face. Spontaneous, fun, graceful, hyperactive, attentive, and honest. That was how he carried himself around everyone in person.
He's quite a weird sight. Despite his obesity his body language reminds me of a very athletic twitchy person. He's like a fit person in a fat suit. Even walked that way with his chin up and back straight.
He would almost certainly give me an earful if he knew I said this about him publically. teehee
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http://www.youtube.com/harmonicazhin
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strawwoodclaw
166 posts
Dec 21, 2010
2:32 PM
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I really can't believe this first I got out of hospital to find out Chris Michalek has passed away & then I find out on this forum that Captain Beefheart Don Van Vliet has died also.
from what I have read
these two people were wired up very similar in how they thought & acted the amount of similarities are uncanny ,even though there approach to art/music & the way they expressed them self's threw it was totally different.
I think two very important Visionary's have left the earth leaving a huge imprint in it changing things for the better
God Bless them, I think maybe they had a better idea of what God is. maybe they didn't - God Bless them all the same
Last Edited by on Dec 21, 2010 2:33 PM
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