After much thought I can only think of one downside to being a harmonica player in a band- AND IT IS THIS- You can't sing and play at the same time. and that makes it more difficult when you are also the lead vocalist- So does anyone think I'm right- can you think of any other downsides to being a harmonica player in a band
Clever uses of loop and rythmic play allow you to sing and play at the same time. Just listen to some Son Of Dave op and you'll understand how easy it can be.
I found that being the lead singer gave the audience a nice break from hearing too much harmonica. I got to pick the songs and I would not always pick "harmonica songs" just for that reason. ----------
Pft...the major con is lack of interest in the instrument as a piece of a band. Followed closely in 2nd place is how that the better you are at playing harmonica, especially non-blues, the easier it is to alienate other musicians.
At least in my neck of the woods, you only work regularly if you are an average player that doesn't compete with the guitar player's ego.
I know several amazing players that struggle to do any paid gigs and then beginner intermediates that play half a dozen times a month for money.
I don't think that it is audience disdain so much as guitar players don't like other lead instruments that command attention.
@ DannyRanch, I know what you mean about the low expectations/opinions of other musicians towards harp players.
This past spring I was invited to sit in with the house band for an annual event. I got there early, set up and jammed with the guitar player for about 15 minutes so we could get used to each other. Had a good time. Then the band leader came in, keyboardist/lead singer, and introduced herself. Asked what I play. Told her harmonica and I saw the look forming before she could cover it up. So did the guitarist. He was quick to tell her, “It’s ok. He’s the good kind of harmonica player.” Implying that I wasn’t going to tromp on her vocals or over play. When we got done she thanked me and said she was looking forward to playing together again.
So what I got out of this was to get setup early if possible and establish some cred with at least one of the other band members. They’re a good advocate to have on hand. And that in the name of being a good citizen, make sure to even under play a bit so as to get invited back.
Edited for spelling. ----------
I'm workin on it. I'm workin on it.
Last Edited by 2chops on Nov 04, 2015 7:55 AM
I have no problems as a front man that plays harmonica and really doesn't sing (recently, I have started singing "Bad to the Bone" and "Low Rider").
My bassist, guitarist, and drummer all sing lead about equal amounts.
You would think I overplay then. I do not. On most 12 bar blues that we do, the guitarist plays rhythm and I do fills in spots. We both play solos. I almost never play during the guitar solo. A lot of songs we answer/call. Usually two bars each for several breaks.
We do some rock that didn't have harp on the original, but I've been told what I add works great. Examples" "Keep Your Hands to Yourself" and "Black Betty". A handful of funky stuff that I simply do the horn part on.
It's what I do when I'm NOT playing that keeps me as front man. Dancing, grooving, cheering on the soloist, or whatever. I use a wireless system so after I dance thru the crowd playing a solo, I mingle while the rest of the band rocks on.
I do all the talking, joking, and crowd interactions. It's a high energy show.
I also use my name for the band and handle all the business end.
People told me that after I got fired as a backing player that I could never make it as a front man, especially since I'm not a singer.
We've developed into a blues n blues/rock show and party band but that's okay. We play all we want and I get to perform my fair share of what I love best...low down and dirty blues!
I know beginner to beginner/intermediate players that gig more regularly than advanced players.
I don't know why this happens, but bands gravitate towards bar style players more than sophisticated or developed players. It is probably true of other instruments as well?
I am not saying it is good trad blues players and guys with a different style suffer. No, I am saying less skilled blues players are playing more than good blues players.
I've noticed the same thing in other areas...people don't want to add/hire/collaborate with people who are "better" than them at something.
I also know that harp players are almost immediately dismissed as able to contribute to anything other than a blues band. ---------- Mike My Website My Harmonica Effects Blog
Yes, thats true, but there are exceptions. I'm in a ska band. And it has gave me more gigs than the blues bands I have been performing with so far lol I was finally able to gather a good study list of harp players for ska and reggae but it is still a little bit complicated for me sometimes. Also (thanks to Hakan) I want to experiment playing with a punk band some of those days.
Back on track yeah there is a blues band that gigs regularly over here and their harp player has never hit a bent note lol so yes I get what you are saying.
I will also admit that I am a way better player now than when I was gigging my most. I was playing in a pretty solid blues band 4-5 years into my playing and learning a lot as I went.
To my credit, though, I'd say I had passable tone and phrasing. This was about 5 years into playing harmonica in 2008...
I played in a pretty decent band from 04-10, and when we broke up, all the Youtubes were pulled. I know I can send the old drummer a hard drive and get the live vids and audio, but I regret not having it more accessible. ---------- Mike My Website My Harmonica Effects Blog
As a 'member' of a band you must have a method to manage your down time if you don't sing or play another instrument. This has always been my bugaboo. If you are playing only harp thru most of the band's performance you are doing something wrong. If you are doing it correctly you have to cool your ham unless and until you have a solo. There have been times when I let my mind wander on stage (ie wishing there was a mic plugin by my seat at the bar).
I have no experience as 'leader' of a band but previous posters seem to have that handled and cover it quite well.
As BBQ Bob mentioned once you must know theory although I disagree with him that this particular ignorance is a sign of laziness. I find myself working 257% harder and sweating what would be a walk in the park for someone like Bob who is versitile and can likely take off on a score with verbal, written or gestured cues. I accepted early on that my invitations to the studio would be rare and after 45 years this has proven to be true. (Plus, you have to be pretty good, right?) Expensive studio time is not well spent on a shuffle and spin through your harp collection. I have occasionally made my way in after extensive preperation but I will never qualify as a session musician even though I no longer have to deal with careers that actually paid the rent.
I'd like to add that I absolutely love playing harp and I continue to make long strides during my learning process. I appreciate the dedication that others take in the craft and I'm impressed by the amazing things that some players can do with the instrument. That being said, I find that much of this virtuosity can be very irritating when delivered in large doses or when I have to strain to find emotion. I have always wondered what the listening majority of people who have no familiarity with the craft actually think of it. I have excluded those rude few who are very eager to loudly share whatever is on their mind from the aforementioned group: "the listening majority of people". However valid their opinion may be, my ear has been trained to filter out slurred critiques. My skin seems to have thickened, also.
Last Edited by JustFuya on Nov 04, 2015 12:03 PM
I concur with Harp Ninja. The type of work you do on "Hideaway" is not unlike I do. I probably would do a little "chuck-a-chuck" along the the beat, percussion in nature. Regrettably most, yes most, harp harpers gus and gus and gus and leave zero space. The constant comment I get from bands after jamming with them is "you are great and you knew to stop playing when other were soloing." Why is that concept so effing difficult for the gussers to understand? I have given up dispersing this advise to those who submit clips of themselves on this site.
As for the downside to being a lead harmonica player, for me, nothing, it works just as being a side man works, just different skill sets.
Last Edited by 6SN7 on Nov 04, 2015 11:42 AM
For my money, and I'll say it with very brutal honesty, is that harmonica players are too often thought of as being really crappy musicians, and far too often, those who aren't pros, sorry to say, have a tendency to fulfill the negative stereotype because they too often think learning theory and getting their time straight is not their job (and I don't give a rat's ass what instrument you play, because it IS the job of EVERY musician on the bandstand to have their time and theory together, NO EXCEPTIONS) and that thinking is straight up dumb as the day is long. So like it or not, since the stereotype of the harp player is one of being musically untogether, it's no wonder why such reactions are happening and the ONLY people to blame for it are harp players themselves and I stand by that statement 100%.
In an audience, there's a helluva lot more "air guitar players" than "air harp players" by a gigantic margin.
@JustFuya -- It takes being around really experienced pros and not being afraid of screwing up that will eventually get yourself straight. Too often open jams are places you tend to easily learn stuff that you should NOT be doing for a number of different reasons and too often you don't get the kind of mentoring one really needs and pick up really dumb stuff like the drummer is the beat (and musicians who believe that nonsense ALWAYS have horrible time and can't tell the difference when it concerns their own time as well that of other musicians). Studio sessions are an entirely different animal to deal with but along the way, like anything else, one should never hesitate to ask questions and too often many harp players who aren't around TRULY good musicians are too afraid to do so because they don't want to look like an idiot (which is understandable) and one of the things I often see at open jams among players who haven't taken a solo yet or once their done with their solo is the look of being bored and stupid and it's NOT just harp players who are guilty of that and most of them don't realize when they do that, they are also putting a major hurt on their stage presence.
JustFuya, your very last sentence saying that your skin is hardened is something many musicians need to learn because along the way, be it pro or whatever, you are going to get criticized, like it or not, and you HAVE to develop thick skin and there are times even on this forum when something hits too close to home saying truths someone is unwilling to face, there's a tendency for a few to blow up about it and you just can't do that.
All of those things you gotta work at and I know they just don't come to you easily and so along the way, someone is gonna humble your behind hard (I've had that tons of times).
Life is a constant learning experience and that's something you have to keep in mind.
@HarpNinja -- Some lesser players can gig more if their better at vocals than harp, so that's no surprise but some great players, unfortunately have horrible stage presence and I've seen more than a few look down towards the floor instead of the audience (and they don't realize that they're doing things like that) and that tells the audience that they have a huge lack of self confidence and another thing I've seen a lot of harp players do once they're off the stage is when an audience member gives them a compliment, instead of saying a simple thank you, or I try, they self critique themselves, sometimes quite harshly, and they convey a lack of self confidence and there's the old saying that definitely holds true that confidence is sexy.
One thing HarpNinja says about guitar players not liking anyone else getting attention is something I've seen more often with white musicians more than anything else and the classic thing I've seen over the years in non pro situations that the guitar player is automatically thought of as being the best and most knowledgeable musician in the band and because of that stereotype, when it's with white musicians, the rest of the band will automatically follow the guitar player, even if he's royally screwing up the time (basically, as far as I'm concerned, being an over glorified crappy musician) and until they get into a really good recording studio with an engineer who really knows their s**t and won't be afraid to call them out or if any of those guys get around real pros, that's when they learn how stupid that attitude is because a real pro will notice EVERY damned thing that goes on, both good and band. If that guitar player has spent most of their playing time in an open jam than on a real gig, there's no surprise about that attitude at all, so with harp players, they're used to them being really s**tty, totally untogether musicians as a general rule. ---------- Sincerely, Barbeque Bob Maglinte Boston, MA http://www.barbequebob.com CD available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/bbmaglinte
Last Edited by barbequebob on Nov 05, 2015 1:07 PM
To offer my story regarding white guitar players who think they are the focus point...was in a very good blues band in Detroit with guitarist like this. One night I pushed boundaries with a blistering keyboard solo. During break someone came up to us, told guitar player he sounded great as usual, but that keyboard solo was fantastic! Guitar player got very upset and soon I was no longer in the band. ---------- The Iceman
I requested some coachings to a veteran player here and ended fighting, since I was using lot of ''technical stuff' and obviously lots of theory since I wanna be a great musician not a great harmonica player.
Listening musicians is a great thing to do. Actual harmonica players that treat their instrument as an actual horn and not a novelty.
Also listening to a lot of jazz helps.
Its really tricky at least for me studying theory on my own for harmonica.
I'm also learning to read standard notation and got my hands on the Real book.
Also I plan on getting serious with the Chromatic. Its a lifetime journey but is fun anyway
But Its annoying the reputation this instrument has if you ask me
I have never been the front man in a band and it is doubtful that I ever will be. As such, I am at the mercy of what the lead guitar player wants to play or the lead singer wants to sing – and of course, frequently they are the same person. In situations such as that, I find myself having to invent or make up harp parts on songs that did not originally include the harmonica. Don’t get me wrong, I think that the harp can fit into most any song but for someone with limited skills, such as myself, it is a lot easier to learn a harp part from an original recording than it is to make up your own original part and try to fit it in. And occasionally, because they are not used to having a harp in the mix, they don’t leave any space for us. There are no breaks in the vocals. That’s how they learned the song and that’s how they’re going to do it. It can be frustrating.
It seems to me, once you develop the skills to take the lead, you should be in a band that features the harp as a solo instrument – whether you sing or not. I’m probably talking about an ideal situation. If you are full time professional musician, then you probably owe it to yourself to find a situation where you can flourish. If you are weekend warrior you might have to be content just to be a part of a band even if it is less than the ideal situation. Maybe it’s a good fit for you because they don’t travel much or only play 2-3 times a month and that’s all your schedule can handle. But there is no doubt that the guys who are the front men harp players sound the best because #1, they got the chops, and also #2 they call the shots and play the music that puts them in a position to play to their strength.
Sounds like you guys must be in a real unfriendly environment. Downside for me is listening to other harp players whinge about not being taken seriously as musicians, or the harp having a bad rep. Where I come from, people say: 'wow, I love the harmonica' when I tell em what I play. (they might change their mind after they hear me play) ---------- Lucky Lester
I've been relieved of duty three times because people were more into what I was doing than the guitar player. Each time it was the guitar player and they were honest about it. I have my faults, but I really do pride myself on following the band leader.
But yeah, some harp players offer a unique selling point rather, and guitar players don't always like that. ---------- Mike My Website My Harmonica Effects Blog
I have played in many different types of bands. Blues is a style I play the least. I love it and study the heck out of it. But unless the players are really great, I feel like blues bands are not artistically interesting. Give me a great bunch of blues players and I'll be happy for years.
Although I play mandolin well enough to gig with, I generally focus on harp. I have been the bass player for an all original non harmonica band on the bass harp. I have brought vocals, theremin, electric bass, keyboards, melodica, harmonetta, chord harp and kazoo to gigs and have been appreciated.
But 99% of all of my gigs have been on diatonic and chromatic and nuthin' else.
I do live in a city with a lot of bands.
Currently, I perform just 6 shows a month and make most of my income teaching harp, but from the time I was 28 to 33, I made most of my income performing.
I think stage presence is important, but with one band where everyone was jumping around like a monkey, it was agreed upon that my role was to act as bored as possible. It worked great. When my solo came up, I monkey jumped.
Mostly, I just stand calmly until it's my turn and then I move as I play. The amount of movement depends on the vibe of the band.
Don't get me wrong, I am actually going through a dry spell right now. I blame that on my wanting to be at home for my kids who are still very little (5 and 1) and my wife who works hard. Therefore, it is hard for me to say to her "Let me go out to try and network and leave you alone for another night but I won't get paid."
Even still, I have my regular band and still get occasionally hired by people who I've never met, but word led them to me. But I am itching to get hired by a second project.
I'm no movie star in the looks department. I am a bit weird socially. I don't drink or do drugs, which to many bands seems a hindrance. In other words, I am not bringing up the cool quotient of the band.
People like that I keep my equipment running. I have a running car. I show up to rehearsals and gigs. I respond to communication quickly. I can keep a calendar.
As far as playing harmonica, I love all styles of music and try to play them all at a professional level. I have no problem sitting out on the majority of a tune. However, unless lots of the band is stepping off the stage on a regular basis, I will not play the "I just don't hear harp on this song" game. You hired a harp player, trust me to find a place in every song.
I know theory pretty well and I've worked darn hard on my timing. I try and play with feeling.
I tend to ignore any disrespect that people give me for playing harp. Generally, when they hear me, that changes. If it doesn't, some people are not for me. And I am not for some people.
You don't need 7 billion people to collaborate musically (although you might argue that you always do). You just need to find one person who is willing to play with you. Find one person who respects what you and play with them. Find one club that will hire you and play there. Focus on the bartender during an empty gig.
This already has the feel of a classic thread that should be saved, hard-linked, etc. Thanks, all, for great insights.
I was struck by BBQ Bob's statement: "another thing I've seen a lot of harp players do once they're off the stage is when an audience member gives them a compliment, instead of saying a simple thank you, or I try, they self critique themselves, sometimes quite harshly, and they convey a lack of self confidence and there's the old saying that definitely holds true that confidence is sexy."
That's so true. The hardest thing to do is accept praise skillfully, without preening or the narcissistic inverse--my problem--which is taking 90 seconds to demand that the person listen to YOUR point-by-point critique of your own playing.
Just say, "Thanks" and continue to wipe your sweaty face with a towel. If you can't stand leaving it at that, then add no more than one sentence--something like "Doing my best to get it right" or the equivalent. No more than that.
Last Edited by kudzurunner on Nov 04, 2015 8:00 PM
I agree. Don't ever talk it down. A heartfelt thanks, and thanks for coming is the best response to compliments. Imagine when people say to me: "I love the harmonica' instead of saying 'so do I' saying:'yeah but I don't get taken seriously as a musician, and most harp players are really crappy and guitar players get really jealous.... ---------- Lucky Lester
I never "talk down" a compliment, a simple thanks, but I always acknowledge the band as a major contibutor to me sounding good to that person. I got to say, most guitarist I play with are fine because I make a effort to make them sound good either by comping or just not playing behind them. Sure, there are some guitarist who are head cases and you know that pretty darn quick, but I get a bigger kick making the band sound good rather than me shining. You do that right, band memebers will compliment you. And if they don't, it's reality check time. I love leading a band, with a good musicians, it's like driving a big old cadillac.
I've had the alienation experiences both from audience and band members. Seems like eons ago. Although the most recent was only maybe 3 years ago. I may be mistaken but it felt to me like the other members, esp the leader, feared I would take over. I don't know how to convey the difference between a control agenda and being a team player but there it is. I am not a good manager but I do well as a CO-manager.
My good fortune in recent years is that I have exclusively partnered with my wife as a duo. We do employ rhythm guys here and there, but we are the core and we make the decisions. In addition, we never fail to discuss how we do a song. She is not afraid to tell me to minimize on a given song or part, and I have no problem backing off if I do get over-excited sometimes. We don't do "just" blues, it's at the core pretty much but roots, folk, a bit of funk, some country, have all found their way onto our 100+ song list. I write mostly gutsy blues songs while she is more a ballad writer. Both work for us live and on cd because we put ourselves on the line every time.
Having audience members compliment us is very nice and cool. We try always to respond graciously. This goes far past the tip or cd sale thing and into encouraging people to follow their dreams, because sometimes someone who is willing to come up and chat is an aspiring musician themselves. If it had not been for some key people treating me with respect and encouragement early on I may have tossed the whole idea. These days the last thing I want to do is after getting someone's attention on stage, bore them silly with minutiae.
Great discussion and as always there are such varied experiences and inputs, this is what rounds out a person's body of knowledge.
Plato said, the unexamined life is hardly worth living. Or was it Aristotle?
Re: unexamined life - I think it was Plato quoting Socrates.
I'm pretty fortunate in my current band (a 4 piece) in that I was hired by the guitar player/leader to give him a break from soloing all the time. As a side man, it does help that I double on saxophone to break things up sonically a bit. I have to agree with Jawbone about that. I get a little bit of ear fatigue if I hear harmonica on every song for three hours. That could also be because I'm starting to repeat myself at that point.
"So does anyone think I'm right- can you think of any other downsides to being a harmonica player in a band"
Yep, waiting for other's to play and finish their solo's, whether it be guitar, key's or whatever even more so if their solo is pants (mainly at jams but sometimes bands)! ----------
"Those British boys want to play the blues real bad, and they do"
Personally, I don't think there's any downside. Leading the band is great experience and any guitar player who can't stand to share the stage with a good harp player is a wanker who doesn't get it if you ask me.
---------- 4' 4+ 3' 2~~~ -Mike Ziemba Harmonica is Life!
When you work with great artists that love to surround themselves with top players it's always incredible. The ego jerks are usually not that talented. Juan Avila always had top players and loved to just let them fly. The great bass virtuoso Chico Huff opens the tune and I close it on chrom. ----------
Well, I don't sing and l don't play any instruments besides harp. The key to gigging regularly is understanding how to play with other musicians and being able to function in multiple musical styles. One of the sideman gigs I get is with a weak guitar player who sings well but doesn't solo well. I get hired essentially to play the solos and about half the time we are playing in different kinds of minor keys. It is my impression that there are not a lot of diatonic harp players who can solo in minor keys for half the night. When this guy is not using me, he has an electric viola player that he works with..
More commonly the sideman gigs I get are with really good guitar players in trios without a keyboard player who also sing and find it helpful to have an alternative solo "voice" who can take extended solos with no drop in energy so they can essentially take a break from having to carry everything all the time on every tune. BUT it is expected that when I am not soloing or playing a defined hook I stay out of the guitar player's way.
On MBH I see a lot of posts complaining about guitar volume or a band playing on top of the beat. REALITY CHECK: they ain't going to change so learn to deal with it. Get the right equipment to handle high volume and learn to play with drive so you are able to rock hard when required by the situation. I do not consider myself to be a great player. In fact, I consider myself very limited. In my geographic area there are several players who are technically better than me, all of whom but one don't work anywhere near as frequently as I do. Most of the time the musicians I am working with are much better than I am. Count my blessings, but I can't walk into a bar that has a band without being asked to sit in. Go figure...
The trick to having your own band is being able to get bookings. Apparently I have a rep for playing with good musicians because one local venue which was booking both of my duos gave me two Thursday nights to do whatever I wanted to put together. After they found out who I got to play with me they gave me two more Thursdays.
So, my advice is to be able to be flexible enough to adapt to the particular musical situation instead of bitching that the other musicians won't adapt to you and always try to play with musicians who are better than you are and be able to play in multiple styles. FWIW
Well, I don't sing and l don't play any instruments besides harp. The key to gigging regularly is understanding how to play with other musicians and being able to function in multiple musical styles. One of the sideman gigs I get is with a weak guitar player who sings well but doesn't solo well. I get hired essentially to play the solos and about half the time we are playing in different kinds of minor keys. It is my impression that there are not a lot of diatonic harp players who can solo in minor keys for half the night. When this guy is not using me, he has an electric viola player that he works with..
More commonly the sideman gigs I get are with really good guitar players in trios without a keyboard player who also sing and find it helpful to have an alternative solo "voice" who can take extended solos with no drop in energy so they can essentially take a break from having to carry everything all the time on every tune. BUT it is expected that when I am not soloing or playing a defined hook I stay out of the guitar player's way.
On MBH I see a lot of posts complaining about guitar volume or a band playing on top of the beat. REALITY CHECK: they ain't going to change so learn to deal with it. Get the right equipment to handle high volume and learn to play with drive so you are able to rock hard when required by the situation. I do not consider myself to be a great player. In fact, I consider myself very limited. In my geographic area there are several players who are technically better than me, all of whom but one don't work anywhere near as frequently as I do. Most of the time the musicians I am working with are much better than I am. Count my blessings, but I can't walk into a bar that has a band without being asked to sit in. Go figure...
The trick to having your own band is being able to get bookings. Apparently I have a rep for playing with good musicians because one local venue which was booking both of my duos gave me two Thursday nights to do whatever I wanted to put together. After they found out who I got to play with me they gave me two more Thursdays.
So, my advice is to be able to be flexible enough to adapt to the particular musical situation instead of bitching that the other musicians won't adapt to you and always try to play with musicians who are better than you are and be able to play in multiple styles. FWIW
Well, I don't sing and l don't play any instruments besides harp. The key to gigging regularly is understanding how to play with other musicians and being able to function in multiple musical styles. One of the sideman gigs I get is with a weak guitar player who sings well but doesn't solo well. I get hired essentially to play the solos and about half the time we are playing in different kinds of minor keys. It is my impression that there are not a lot of diatonic harp players who can solo in minor keys for half the night. When this guy is not using me, he has an electric viola player that he works with..
More commonly the sideman gigs I get are with really good guitar players in trios without a keyboard player who also sing and find it helpful to have an alternative solo "voice" who can take extended solos with no drop in energy so they can essentially take a break from having to carry everything all the time on every tune. BUT it is expected that when I am not soloing or playing a defined hook I stay out of the guitar player's way.
On MBH I see a lot of posts complaining about guitar volume or a band playing on top of the beat. REALITY CHECK: they ain't going to change so learn to deal with it. Get the right equipment to handle high volume and learn to play with drive so you are able to rock hard when required by the situation. I do not consider myself to be a great player. In fact, I consider myself very limited. In my geographic area there are several players who are technically better than me, all of whom but one don't work anywhere near as frequently as I do. Most of the time the musicians I am working with are much better than I am. Count my blessings, but I can't walk into a bar that has a band without being asked to sit in. Go figure...
The trick to having your own band is being able to get bookings. Apparently I have a rep for playing with good musicians because one local venue which was booking both of my duos gave me two Thursday nights to do whatever I wanted to put together. After they found out who I got to play with me they gave me two more Thursdays.
So, my advice is to be able to be flexible enough to adapt to the particular musical situation instead of bitching that the other musicians won't adapt to you and always try to play with musicians who are better than you are and be able to play in multiple styles. FWIW
Well, I don't sing and l don't play any instruments besides harp. The key to gigging regularly is understanding how to play with other musicians and being able to function in multiple musical styles. One of the sideman gigs I get is with a weak guitar player who sings well but doesn't solo well. I get hired essentially to play the solos and about half the time we are playing in different kinds of minor keys. It is my impression that there are not a lot of diatonic harp players who can solo in minor keys for half the night. When this guy is not using me, he has an electric viola player that he works with..
More commonly the sideman gigs I get are with really good guitar players in trios without a keyboard player who also sing and find it helpful to have an alternative solo "voice" who can take extended solos with no drop in energy so they can essentially take a break from having to carry everything all the time on every tune. BUT it is expected that when I am not soloing or playing a defined hook I stay out of the guitar player's way.
On MBH I see a lot of posts complaining about guitar volume or a band playing on top of the beat. REALITY CHECK: they ain't going to change so learn to deal with it. Get the right equipment to handle high volume and learn to play with drive so you are able to rock hard when required by the situation. I do not consider myself to be a great player. In fact, I consider myself very limited. In my geographic area there are several players who are technically better than me, all of whom but one don't work anywhere near as frequently as I do. Most of the time the musicians I am working with are much better than I am. Count my blessings, but I can't walk into a bar that has a band without being asked to sit in. Go figure...
The trick to having your own band is being able to get bookings. Apparently I have a rep for playing with good musicians because one local venue which was booking both of my duos gave me two Thursday nights to do whatever I wanted to put together. After they found out who I got to play with me they gave me two more Thursdays.
So, my advice is to be able to be flexible enough to adapt to the particular musical situation instead of bitching that the other musicians won't adapt to you and always try to play with musicians who are better than you are and be able to play in multiple styles. FWIW
