JustFuya
499 posts
Sep 13, 2014
10:20 PM
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During this week of watching my 3 preteen grandkids (Done Monday!) I tried to interest them, once again, in the music that my daughter blew off. I never pushed either of my kids. I gave my boy a sax but my wife insisted on lessons. I wanted to hear one squeaky note before I spent a dime on lessons and he wound up with skateboards, soccer, basketball and a nice sax that sits on his mantlepiece to this day.
We always had musicians around but the kids were more interested in the characters that pissed mom off than the music that we played.
As a kid I was nudged with lessons but I was never pushed. It seemed like school on a sunny summer day and I had better things to do. But I was always interested and kept it up in my own way.
I lit a spark with my kids but it was not musical. So I wonder. Did they get mom's tin ear or should I have tried harder.
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Thievin' Heathen
393 posts
Sep 13, 2014
10:47 PM
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There is definitely a genetic component.
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JustFuya
502 posts
Sep 13, 2014
11:37 PM
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TH - Funny that you bring up Arlo. I love the fella because he was passed a weighty baton and ran with it. He was accepted widely before I respected him. Kids have more to prove but they have to give a shit and step in mighty deep if they want to follow in daddy's footsteps. He's done it gracefully.
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JustFuya
503 posts
Sep 13, 2014
11:44 PM
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This one stepped into clown shoes. He is a truly decent guy with a musical gift. He did inherit daddy's performance genes.
Last Edited by JustFuya on Sep 15, 2014 8:06 AM
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didjcripey
816 posts
Sep 13, 2014
11:46 PM
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We just had hearing tests done at work, and the technician was passionate and knowledgeable about ears and hearing. She reckoned she could pick a musician by their test results, and not just that they had damage from exposure to industrial levels of noise. She maintains her experience shows higher range of frequency response and greater sensitivity in musicians. Perhaps musicians are physiologically different, and hear differently as a result.
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Lucky Lester
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tf10music
217 posts
Sep 14, 2014
12:06 AM
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Three guesses as to whose son this is:
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Check out my music at http://bmeyerson11.bandcamp.com/
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Kingley
3696 posts
Sep 14, 2014
12:22 AM
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You should never push your children or anyone else into learning any kind of musical instrument. It has to come from within a person to want to learn to play music. All you should do is allow them access to all kinds of music by playing it in the home, taking them to outdoor festivals, etc and hope that it speaks to them in some way. Far too many people try to live vicariously through their children and grandchildren, hoping they can get them to do all the things they wish they had done as children. Desperately trying to mould them into some kind of mini-me. Well that's just unfair, unjust and downright bad parenting in my book.
A child should be taught moral values, given experiences of a wide variety of things and taught that whilst it's great to excel at things and be the best you can. That it's also ok to fail too and to not follow the path expected of you. What's important in life is to be happy (where ever possible) and to learn from your mistakes. Those are the things I believe children should be taught.
Far, far too many parents and especially middle class ones have the kind of mentality where they think you have to achieve certain goals in life and perform rights of passage. For example reading certain books, watching certain films, attending university, having a five year plan, having gap year experiences, getting married, having kids, etc, etc. Whilst there is nothing wrong with any of those things, it should also be taught to children by their parents that there are other paths in life and all are equally as valid (within the moral/legal boundaries of right and wrong of course). That any life/hobby/career they choose is fine as long as they are happy. For instance it's ok to be gay, it's ok to not believe in the religion or politics of your parents, it's ok to live with someone and not be married, it's ok to not want a high flying career, etc, etc.
If your child grows and becomes interested in music then good for them. If they don't then that's also fine. Just instil in them the belief that no matter how old they are or where they are in life, that they can learn and do anything they want to do, if they put their minds to it. Then maybe one day they'll choose to learn a musical instrument. Or then again maybe they won't.
Last Edited by Kingley on Sep 14, 2014 12:23 AM
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JustFuya
505 posts
Sep 14, 2014
1:22 AM
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@King - I hear ya. I never pushed (too much) but I applauded and encouraged all their endeavors, artistic and otherwise. I exposed them to all I could handle myself, and even more, but I'll admit to a scoff here and there. Those scoffs do not go unnoticed and my boy seems to tend towards them. It's endearing in its own way. I relate to defiance and can't help but admire it. (This was all before reverse psychology was invented.)
Last Edited by JustFuya on Sep 14, 2014 4:42 PM
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