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Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
"MARRIED" touring Pro harpsters...
"MARRIED" touring Pro harpsters...
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Frank
1457 posts
Nov 24, 2012
6:14 AM
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How???? Does a Pro who tours - keep their marriage from turning into a fiasco...I understand “ALL” marriages are susceptible to a heartbreaking demise when either partner is unwilling to participate in the daily work involved to keep the union strong and their vows to one another fresh and meaningful. Men have certain definite needs – how do they go on tour for a week – God forbid (weeks) at a time and not go friggin crazy! Personally, I need a lot of good lovin and would be nuts for my wife by the 2nd day. Any thoughts on this subject from youns guys?
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 6:18 AM
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tmf714
1380 posts
Nov 24, 2012
6:19 AM
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Ask Mark Hummel-
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Frank
1458 posts
Nov 24, 2012
6:23 AM
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Married to the BLUES, great CD of Marks!
(Shemekia Copeland) "Married To The Blues" lyrics
I never win at love
At love I always lose
I keep looking for a good man
And I ain't got no clue
I can't find no one to love me
I guess I'm married to the blues
Married to the blues
There's a picture by my bedside
In a frame that's got a crack
Of one of my old lovers
Who ain't never comin' back
He swore he'd never leave me
Then I saw him start to pack
Start to pack
Oh when you're married to the blues
Married to the blues
You don't get no band of gold
All you get is a lonely cab ride
To a bed that's always cold
When you're married to the blues
Forget that honeymoon
All you get is luke-warm lovin'
That's over way, way too soon
There's a letter inm y pocket
It's all torn
Torn and frayed
The only thing
Only thing he left me
When he ran
Ran away
Now when you're married to the blues
It gets more lonely everyday
Oh... All these blues
I knew he would leave me
He was never comin' back
He left me a torn letter
Then he ran away
Ran away
Married to the blues
Oh... All these blues
You get so lonely
Lonely
Lonely
Lonely
Married to the blues
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 6:31 AM
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waltertore
2667 posts
Nov 24, 2012
6:44 AM
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I have been married to Judy for 32 years. We met at one of my gigs where she danced in front of me all night. From that night on we have been together. I hated leaving home. Leaving her, our dogs, made me deep blue for a day or so. After awhile you get use to it. We spent a lot of money on the phone saying - you say goodbye, no you say goodbye...... My longest goodbye was a 7 month one when I was overseas playing and she back in New Jersey. Most of my goodbyes were for 1-4 weeks. I could never do the 7 month thing again. I found my true love with Judy and never have cheated on her. I saw lots of married guys act like they were wild bachlors when out on the road. I never could understand that. To be honest, I rarely had a married musician in my band. Walter
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walter tore's spontobeat - a real one man band and over 1 million spontaneously created songs and growing. I record about 300 full length cds a year in the Tunnel of Dreams Studio.
" life is a daring adventure or nothing at all" - helen keller
4,500+ of my songs in a streaming format
my videos
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 6:45 AM
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Frank
1459 posts
Nov 24, 2012
7:00 AM
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Congratulations Walter – your 32 years of marriage while being a touring musician for many of them seems as rare as your spontobeat legacy – quite admriable!
Here is a song from the 1930s by Curtis Jones –
It’s lonesome in my bedroom, just me an’ myself alone
It’s lonesome in my bedroom, just me an’ myself alone
I have no one to love me, each night when I come home
A room without a woman, is like a heart without a beat
A room without a woman, is like a heart without a beat
Seem like every woman I get, always wants to mistreat me
Bill Clarke does a bang up version of this classic blues tune too.
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waltertore
2668 posts
Nov 24, 2012
7:09 AM
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thanks Frank! I have been blessed in so many ways. Some of my musician friends that have had long marriages are Sonny Rhodes, Cool Papa(deceased), Louisiana Red(deceased), Charlie Musselwhite. Walter
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walter tore's spontobeat - a real one man band and over 1 million spontaneously created songs and growing. I record about 300 full length cds a year in the Tunnel of Dreams Studio.
" life is a daring adventure or nothing at all" - helen keller
4,500+ of my songs in a streaming format
my videos
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 7:11 AM
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Frank
1460 posts
Nov 24, 2012
8:03 AM
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Here is a tongue in cheek story that’s amusing to read???
Think Twice Before You Marry a Musician
My drummer, Jack, called me last week and said he’d decided to leave the band. I had hand-picked him (what is he, a turnip?) to play in my band when I formed it two years ago, and he’s been great to play with. I told him so, and said we’d miss having him in the band. He said he hated to let it go, but the time commitment had gotten to be too much, and it was putting a strain on his marriage.
I understood completely. You know what puts a strain on your marriage? Being married to a musician. Musicians are flakes. Ain’t no getting around it, we all have some serious shortcomings when it comes to responsibility, consideration, and paying the rent. There’s an old joke going around: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
It’s funny because it has a kernel of truth in the middle, like a piece of chocolate-covered popcorn. Only, instead of truth, it’s popcorn. Even though musicians are flakey and unreliable, the “bad boy” thing tends to spark women’s imaginations. They’re attracted to us like flies to chocolate covered popcorn. They might see a guy in a band as some kind of adventurous ne’er-do-well, a modern-day pirate who has a cheap Strat copy hanging from his shoulder instead of a parrot. All the travel, the late-night debauchery, the passion and creativity displayed onstage, it can make a woman think, “This guy might make an interesting partner. And look at those big hands!”
Well, ladies, let me clue you in on a few things. While that bass player with the smoldering good looks might captivate you with his faraway gaze and dreamy demeanor, what you’re seeing is the middle stages of a serious heroin addiction. You will probably spend all your time with this guy nodding off, scoring some black tar, or jamming a big needle into his heart to bring him back to life. I hope you like instant mashed potatoes and Sponge Bob reruns.
And that crazy drummer, man, he seems to have endless energy! I bet you’re thinking of a good way to put that to use (wink!). Well, you should know that the other guys in the band aren’t speaking to him because he failed to show up at their major-label showcase last week. He was shit-faced, out test-driving a Hummer, seeing how it handled on the downtown sidewalks. Trying to impress his new girlfriend, who turned out to be a tranny.
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Frank
1461 posts
Nov 24, 2012
8:04 AM
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Continued page 2
But what about the lead singer? The guy with no shirt, and five pounds of tattoos? He seems like a soulful guy. Look at the way he’s looking at you! I think he wants you! Yes, of course he wants you! And your friend! And the cocktail waitress! And those four teenage girls up front! And the bartender! And the drummer’s girlfriend! Yes, lead singers are the peacocks of the music world. We love how they strut, how they preen, how they bare their soul when they’re wailing a Journey song. But the band usually has to rent an extra trailer to carry their egos on tour. When a musician mentions LSD, he’s not talking about tripping on acid. He’s talking about Lead Singer Disease. This guy might not know a bouzouki from a kazoo, but he has many opinions on how the rest of the band should play their instruments. You might enjoy watching him onstage, gals, but I’d steer clear of a guy who has his own Sex Tapes website.
What about the guitarist? Surely, he must be the sensitive type, look at that face he makes when he’s playing a solo! He must be feeling the pain of some distant heartache, some buried emotion dredged up by this soulful musical expression. Actually, he’s grimacing because his leather pants are a little too tight, and they’re pinching him in an area where men should never be pinched. Ever.
But it’s true that we guitarists are sensitive souls. We are sensitive to the fact that we want to get laid. That’s why we picked up guitars in the first place. Any guitar player who says different is a liar. Or he’s a drummer’s girlfriend. Yes, we followed the adolescent’s siren song of Rock Stardom and Endless Babes, learned to play “Smoke on the Water,” (note: for bass players it’s “25 or 6 to 4”) and most of us have been waiting to be discovered ever since.
And god forbid if a guitarist is also a songwriter. His muse can show up at any time, usually accompanied by strong liquor or weed. “Hey,” he’ll say, interrupting your explanation of why he needs to Grow Up. “I just got an idea about a song: it’s about a circus made up entirely of barnyard animals. I gotta go get my guitar…”
When he starts getting all excited about diminished ninths and drop-D tunings and such, just nod your head and smile like it’s something a regular human would give rat’s ass about.
But I shouldn’t be too harsh on my fellow music-makers. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. I happen to know a few musicians who are responsible, reliable, and somewhat normal. One of them is fixing my toilet right now.
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Joe_L
2168 posts
Nov 24, 2012
9:48 AM
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I know several professional touring musicians who are married with strong relationships. I never thought to ask them this question for a couple of reasons. First, it really isn't any of my business. Second, they are just people who are away from home a lot. I had a job where I traveled extensively for periods of time. If you are the type of person who is going to seek out trouble, you'll find it whether you are at home or on the road. When you value something, you aren't going to risk messing it up. Musicians aren't a whole lot different than anyone else.
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The Blues Photo Gallery
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 9:51 AM
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Frank
1463 posts
Nov 24, 2012
10:07 AM
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Since asking the question, Iv'e tried to do some research on the web checking out >blogs and other forums< and from what I gathered and it comes at no surprise... it seems that the touring musicians life puts a heaving burden on the spouse left at home and the odds of having a relationship eventually fail because of the lifestyle is pretty high. There are exceptions to the rule as Joe points out.
Last Edited by on Nov 24, 2012 10:09 AM
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Frank
1495 posts
Nov 27, 2012
2:03 PM
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I must be wupped, I can't get enough ;)
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Harp2swing
69 posts
Nov 27, 2012
3:22 PM
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Rod has the answer-Take the wife with you.
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