|
Dirty-South Blues Harp forum: wail on! >
Maybe I'm over it
Maybe I'm over it
Page:
1
SuperBee
725 posts
Dec 15, 2012
11:42 PM
|
Played my final gig with the band last night. I felt quite odd about it, leading up to the gig. But now I feel quite relieved. And I find myself wishing I hadn't signed up to go busking at a festival next month. I find I'm looking forward to getting all the harmonica clutter out of life. Is that weird? I look at it and feel like its been dominating my life and that the need to learn songs and build chops has been competing for attention with other parts of my life and causing psychological stress. It seems a trivial thing to focus so much energy on, it doesn't help anything for me to become a better harp player, or even to play at all. Is this a crisis? I dunno. I've been playing for quite a long time, but actually actively learning in a structured way for 6 or 7 years. The thought of not identifying myself as a harp player is appealing. Oh well
----------
|
wolfkristiansen
154 posts
Dec 16, 2012
12:40 AM
|
Hi SuperBee. Here's something I posted to Dirty South Blues Harp Forum two Christmases ago. I hope you find something in it that persuades you to keep playing.
I am a blues harmonica player, nothing more, nothing less. If my chosen instrument were oboe, I would be playing "blues oboe" on this earth. So the comments that follow come from the perspective of a blues player, which I am guessing describes about half of the contributors to this forum.
I don't think of myself as being particularly creative. I've written two songs in my life. Most of my playing is on stage, in front of an audience, with a beer or three inside me. I still get stage fright if I'm stone cold sober.
When I think about it, I create every time I'm on stage. I never play exactly the same. Yes, I play patterns, but there are subtle variations in the patterns whenever I play. There are also subtle variations in the rhythm.
But my greatest creativity comes when I, and my fellow musicians, get collectively "in the zone". This has been well described by others, and it's real.
For me, as a blues lover, it can also be described as being when I truly "feel the blues" inside me. It's bursting to come out. It feels like an overflowing spring. At times like that, my rhythm is effortless (other times I struggle), my melodic and harmonic ideas come effortlessly and spontaneously, and I truly create! I play outside my patterns.
Sometimes I hear recordings of those magic moments, and try to recreate them note for note the next time I play. It doesn't work.
This kind of creativity doesn't come solely from within. It comes from somewhere "out there". Where? I don't know. There's something otherworldly going on.
When it does happen, it's the most satisfying feeling in the world. For both the performer and the audience. Make no mistake, the audience hears it when you are "in the zone". It electrifies them. I'm not talking about the way they're moved to whistle and cheer when a musician puts on a big show, playing fast and loud and grimacing a lot. I'm talking about the playing that leaves them in a trance. You know that happens when there's a one or two second delay before they applaud, at the end of the song. During those seconds, they're busy coming back to earth after being transported to another world.
That feeling, where you're creating in every bar of the music, is better than any other feeling, including sex. Please don't tell our wives.
Ponder all this, enjoy your Christmas, and say what you feel inspired to say when you're back at the keyboard.
Cheers,
wolf kristiansen
|
didjcripey
434 posts
Dec 16, 2012
2:59 AM
|
Know what youre sayin super bee; sometimes wonder what would be happening in my life if I put all the time and energy I put into harp towards something else.
Thing is, that I always do whatever turns me on (been lucky like that). At the moment, and for some time now, learning and playing harp has been a great buzz for me. When its not, I hope there will be something else.
Passion is a hard thing to maintain indefinitely, and you gotta follow it when its there.
----------
Lucky Lester
|
Frank
1594 posts
Dec 16, 2012
4:03 AM
|
(Hobby)...An enjoyable activity engaged in for pleasure and relaxation during spare time.
Treat it as a HOBBY and all will be well :)
|
jbone
1134 posts
Dec 16, 2012
5:44 AM
|
What Frank said Bee. No doubt there is much more to you than a harp player. True for most if not all of us.
I'm an avid fisherman. Love swimming and taking care of our pool in the warm weather. Spend some time doing help others stuff here and there. Shopping dusty old places for antiques with my wife.
Along with that I am an avid harp player/singer/writer, with my wife as one partner and another guy as a different duo/band partner. Time does get more precious as life goes on and it has gotten harder to make time to work on stuff, but even so, wife and I are starting on the bare bones of the next cd, which promises to be a long project involving several other musicians and some pro recording.
Difference here is, I am still excited and fresh even after about 5 years with Jolene and a partner and a few other projects in the same time frame as well. There do come times when the harps stay in the case. We don't hit jams all the time nor are we constantly promoting locally. We do a small coffee shop sometimes and my other partner books for the duo/band. We get along well too but don't hang out much other than music since he's as busy as Jo and I are with his own things.
About a year ago I nearly chucked the whole thing after a very ugly experience with some local individuals connected with the music community here. But I came to realize that my love for music did not deserve to be left behind over some stupid ego crap generated by envy or jealousy or lack of respect or whatever it was. We never did find out since the major perpetrators won't speak with us in any meaningful way. What I- and we- decided was, we will work on the fringes or just ignore the locals who are like drooling dogs and take the joy from anyone they can. Along with that we will play, write material, sing, and produce a cd for our own pleasure as we can afford the time and money.
Music is a big part of my life but when it gets to be too much work I will take a break and head in a different direction once I have my good perspective back. It's so cool to have a gift, and be able to share it with people. Last evening found us at that coffee house playing our asses off. Had a great time, 5 mins from the house we live in. No amps, no p.a., no worries, just a blues gal layin down a groove and her harp man floatin over it.
----------
http://www.reverbnation.com/jawboneandjolene
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000386839482
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa7La7yYYeE
Last Edited by on Dec 16, 2012 5:48 AM
|
Fingers
224 posts
Dec 16, 2012
6:30 AM
|
I know exactly what you mean!
I had retired from live gigs they just lost their buzz! tried a few bands and it had just lost its appeal so i stopped playing,
then 5 years later i stood in with a band for a birthday gig and was asked to join the band! i said thanks but no thanks,
now last week the bar owner of that bar phoned me offering me cash to play with this band again for his wifes birthday! ii explained its not about the money! but i buckled and said ok, so it seems there is no retirement the blues will seek you out! so hang on to your gear and never say never,
good luck in the future...........oh and this WILL be my last gig!!!
|
robbert
173 posts
Dec 16, 2012
8:18 AM
|
Hey Bee...I sort of know what you are saying. Most likely, you just need a break, or maybe its time to envison a different musical situation, one that better fits all of your life circumstances.
If you just need a break, then you'll probably become re-inspired before too long.
I don't think creativity of any kind is trivial. By its nature, creativity should be life-giving. If you mostly feel pretty good about playing, then you are giving something to someone, you are creating a spark that might uplift the space in some way.
You've hit a bump in the creative road. This happens to me frequently. If you find a way to persist, you'll find you have learned something about yourself, and the process, and you'll pursue it all a little differently, with slightly more 'depth' for lack of a more precise term.
But I get the whole thing about obsessiveness. You can drive yourself nuts with that. It's like you need to be gently obsessive, not maniacally obsessive. Reserve the right to take the art-form seriously, but not take yourself too seriously. It's a way of being kind to yourself, I find.
Whatever you end up doing, I hope you stay on the creative path. Having tried many creative paths (some would call that being a dilettante), I have found music, and the harp to be the one that I can't seem to live without(oh no, I'm NOT obsessive!!!).
All the best.
|
robbert
174 posts
Dec 16, 2012
8:18 AM
|
Hey Bee...I sort of know what you are saying. Most likely, you just need a break, or maybe its time to envison a different musical situation, one that better fits all of your life circumstances.
If you just need a break, then you'll probably become re-inspired before too long.
I don't think creativity of any kind is trivial. By its nature, creativity should be life-giving. If you mostly feel pretty good about playing, then you are giving something to someone, you are creating a spark that might uplift the space in some way.
You've hit a bump in the creative road. This happens to me frequently. If you find a way to persist, you'll find you have learned something about yourself, and the process, and you'll pursue it all a little differently, with slightly more 'depth' for lack of a more precise term.
But I get the whole thing about obsessiveness. You can drive yourself nuts with that. It's like you need to be gently obsessive, not maniacally obsessive. Reserve the right to take the art-form seriously, but not take yourself too seriously. It's a way of being kind to yourself, I find.
Whatever you end up doing, I hope you stay on the creative path. Having tried many creative paths (some would call that being a dilettante), I have found music, and the harp to be the one that I can't seem to live without(oh no, I'm NOT obsessive!!!).
All the best.
|
Afro Blue
47 posts
Dec 16, 2012
12:00 PM
|
Don't go anywhere SuperBee, just relax and play for fun. If that means playing less, then that is what you'll do. But you are not done. You're simply allowing space in your musical flow. ;)
----------
Hunger is the best spice.
|
nacoran
6289 posts
Dec 16, 2012
12:50 PM
|
Unless you've chosen harmonica as your job and are relying on it for you paycheck you should always be able to sit down and ask yourself-
What am I trying to get out of this?
What am I getting out of this?
Can I get what I'm trying to get out of this out of this?
If I can, how do I get what I want out of this?
Compare them for inconsistencies.
If your goal is to become a great player, but you don't enjoy playing, what good will becoming a great player do? If your goal is to have fun, and you're not having fun, what good is it? You may find that you do want to be a great player and that slogging through is the only way to get to your goal, or you may find that you really just want to play for fun, and pushing it to hard is making it not fun. Then you back off until it's fun again.
We have a hobby that is social, and can be professional. That put's stress on us that maybe someone who wants to just work in their garden may not have. Feel free to spin your wheels while you figure out what your goals are. If you don't know which direction you want to go you can either spin and wait, or just go off in a random direction. There is no right answer until you know what you want.
----------
Nate
Facebook
Thread Organizer (A list of all sorts of useful threads)
|
Frank
1615 posts
Dec 16, 2012
12:47 PM
|
Yeah, what Nate said :)
|
Jehosaphat
377 posts
Dec 16, 2012
1:07 PM
|
@Bee
All good advice/thoughts above.
I was exactly in your situation 15 years ago,ended up leaving a successful(in our small neckof the woods) band.Harp/music was taking up to much of my time to the detriment of work and family.
About two years ago i suddenly made the decision to get back into it..auditioned for two bands and got into both but it just wasn't the same fun as it used to be.
Nothing had changed except that maybe the volume had got even louder.^
As an aside both these bands were playing the same stuff that i started out on..Mojo working is a great song but you'd think that there hasn't been a new blues song written in the last 30 years looking at their song lists.
So what to do:Ok i got together with some acoustic players and have finally(i hope, found my niche).Old songs sure but also some originals and new stuff.
I'm enthused again.
Take a break, maybe leave your harps in the drawer for a while.
As Frank said for most of us it is only a hobby after all.There is life without harmonica.
|
daijoubu
17 posts
Dec 16, 2012
9:32 PM
|
SuperBee, grab a copy of Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner from your library. The major topic of the book is removing all the self imposed pressure from yourself and learning to enjoy the act of making music again. Stop identifying yourself as a harp player. Start playing harp because you enjoy it.
----------
Rob
Six Eight Time
|
robbert
175 posts
Dec 16, 2012
9:40 PM
|
Effortless Mastery is a wonderful book.
|
robbert
176 posts
Dec 16, 2012
9:40 PM
|
Effortless Mastery is a wonderful book.
|
SuperBee
726 posts
Dec 18, 2012
12:30 PM
|
Thanks all, I've taken that on board, got hold of the book. Got a few amps for sale. Not the Princeton. A couple of mics too.
I doubt I'll play much in that pub scene from now on. Just gonna woodshed for a while at a rate I can manage without pressure to have something to a performance standard by a deadline, let the really important things reassert the proper order of priority...
----------
|
Afro Blue
67 posts
Dec 18, 2012
12:22 PM
|
SuperBee, you'll never be alone, we'll always be here for you at the forum my friend. Keep going and discover what makes you truly happy. Even if you don't play harp a lot, you'll always have one in your pocket. It might save you're life like Hohner says it did some guy out of their little harmonica magazines. Don't be a stranger.
----------
Hunger is the best spice.
|
jbone
1136 posts
Dec 19, 2012
2:22 AM
|
funny thing, on several occasions i have just put the whole thing down, took a psychic breath. a break. not even thought about harps, mics,amps, or gigs.
when i eased back at a later point, i found that my unconscious mind had been sorting and rearranging things and i had a new and more effective way to play.
----------
http://www.reverbnation.com/jawboneandjolene
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000386839482
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa7La7yYYeE
|
MP
2601 posts
Dec 19, 2012
12:13 PM
|
"Maybe i'm over it."
You'll get over it.:-) sometimes the interest wanes.
Sometimes it comes back like gangbusters. or, in the case of ex MBH member germanharpist it won't.
----------
MP
affordable reed replacement and repairs.
"making the world a better place, one harmonica at a time"
click user name [MP] for info-
repair videos on YouTube.
you can reach me via Facebook. Mark Prados
|
akmarmot
15 posts
Dec 19, 2012
12:34 PM
|
Music, like all primal things such as dancing, singing, howling at the moon, cooking, eating, hunting, can be a spiritual avenue, we're tapping into who we are. I think my own levels of obsession with music mirror stressful times in my life. Playing harp has an added benefit for me that it's easy to carry around. I don't like singing in front of others. I don't mind playing harp though in front of others. I crave the rare opportunity when I can let it out with others in what feels like an oasis of soul to the spiritually dessicated camel.
Simplify. Try dropping any variables that don't add to your collective whole. Treat music as worship; sometimes maintenance, sometimes revelation. It's a true gift to have that avenue; relatively speaking, very few people tap into it, and so many obsess about being the few within that select group that are "good" at it. We can't all be Big Little Junior Horton, but we can feel what he's feeling and take some comfort that we've all been there, wherever it is. Good luck!
|
TetonJohn
27 posts
Dec 19, 2012
12:43 PM
|
SuperBee, remember you said,"...now I feel quite relieved."
Trust yourself.
|
6SN7
218 posts
Dec 19, 2012
3:28 PM
|
What ever happen to playing for fun rather than 6-7 years of structured learning? "Harmonica stress" and "getting all the harmonica clutter out of my life." Wow. But you're relieved, that's cool, you feel the way you feel.
I went through this a number of years ago. My playing was great and the band was getting better and better. Getting work was difficult, band people grumbling, yadayadayada....
And I woke up one morning and walked from it, quit cold turkey. Was it a crisis, no, it was about adjusting priorities. I waited for a couple of years and then rediscovered the thrill of playing again. I'm at it again and I just don't sweat the shit I did in the past.
Good luck, it's all part of the journey.
|
SuperBee
731 posts
Dec 19, 2012
4:56 PM
|
Yeah look, I wrote that OP when I woke up Sunday morning. With no way to hold my head that didnt hurt. It's got a lot of truth in it, but its now Thursday afternoon and I've moved on a bit. I appreciate all the comments and expressions of empathy, support, advice to wake up to myself...thanks.
I know what I'm gonna do, I was just surprised in that moment to realise how I was feeling about things. That's all. Thanks again
----------
|
Post a Message
|
